Praise the Lord

I sit here so happy, so full of joy that I know I must share it with the world.  The Lord has blessed me so, and it's incredible to see His works fulfilled in my life, and the lives of those around me!  I love how the Lord works, and I love that His timing is always right, always perfect.

 I have been job hunting since August.  I've sent resume after resume to no apparent avail.  And then a little over a month ago God used my aunt to put me in contact with a potential employer.  At the time she didn't have any open positions.  Meanwhile, I knew that when God wanted me to have a job, I would have a job.  I haven't been too terribly worried about it.

And then 2 weeks ago my aunt texted me and told me to go get on Craigslist.  The employer had called my aunt to tell her that she posted a job there.  So I found the job posting and once again sent in my resume.  I never heard anything back, and so I trusted God with my future job.

Since then I've applied for another position, but haven't heard back from it either.  So I decided earlier this week that I would head home today.  That if I hadn't heard anything from anyone, it was God's will and it would be enough.  I think I decided on today because my mother called and said I had a dentist appointment at home on Friday.  I hate the dentist.  Always have, and most likely always will.  It takes me about a day to prepare, so today was the day.

Well, today was the day, until I got a phone call.
A voicemail actually saying that yes she would love to bring me on, and could I start Thursday or Friday?  I get to greet people... as a job.  Hallelujah!!
I called her back, confirmed the phone call, then about burst into tears when I hung up.  How great is our God?  His timing is absolute.  He always makes sure we're provided for.

So praise #1: You are reading the blog of an employed woman!  The work is supposed to last until New Years, but that in itself is such a blessing!  I cannot glorify the Name of the Lord enough!

Because I now have a job, that means that I'm staying in College town for Christmas.  Mar and I have been talking about getting a Christmas tree for a while, but never did because we both weren't going to be here.

After my exciting news last night, we decided that a Christmas tree from the little place down the road would be a great celebration!  Well it was a good idea until Mar's boyfriend suggested we wait because he had actually bought tree permits for them to go tree hunting today.... Sneaky, sneaky boy!

And so Mar and I jumped to the obvious conclusion...he was going to propose!  So we got super squirly and then went and got large coffees (at 6:00pm...bad idea).  Then J came over and the 3 of us hung out and watched 8 Below and when he went home just after midnight, we got all excited again, but realized that just because we thought Mar might be getting engaged today didn't mean she was.  The coffee, adrenaline, giggles, and whispering kept us up until 2:00 this morning..

We both calmed down and were pretty normal getting ready.  Then they went Christmas tree hunting and I picked up the book I'm reading (Fifth Seal by Bodie and Brock Thoene.  I HIGHLY recommend their books!!! SO. MUCH. TRUTH!) right now, and it was a normal afternoon.  I was praying for my lunch and the two of them, just putting everything into God's hands, when I got the prompt on my phone at 1:34 that said, one new picture waiting to be downloaded, I about lost it!  SSSSOOOO excited for two of my best friends on this planet.

Not only are these two seriously my best friends, they are amazing examples of a relationship centered around the Lord.  I am blessed by them so so much!  It's so good to see God growing in them individually and in their relationship, and I'm just so excited to see them take this next step in life.  We are growing up.  It's crazy, and I cannot believe it sometimes, but it's real!  I'm so thankful that God put them in my life.


So praise #2: My best friend is engaged.

It's kind of a weird praise I guess, but it just makes sense.  God gets all the glory in their relationship, and that folks is what it's all about.  Not J's glory, not Mar's glory, but God's glory.  His work through them.

What do you have to be thankful for today?  Make it made known to God.  He's excited to share in your joy!

All the glory to God!
-Kaitlynn Marie

When you can't ignore it...

You know those times that the Lord is telling you something?  I'm thinking more about the times he's telling you something and you unceremoniously refuse. {okay..maybe it's just me that does that..}  I have two prime examples for you this lovely evening in the hopes that you will recognize the voice of the Father and obey.

Example 1

Setting: Fall Retreat {a.k.a beautiful Sun River..very beautiful..think rustic/fancy cabin, slightly chilly as in snowy chilly, and the presence of our Father}

Time: 7:19 AM..or somewhere roughly around there

Scene: Kaitlynn is woken up by slightly panicking roommate Mar.

Mar: Kaitlynn..(no response).. Kaiiiitlynn.

Kaitlynn: (sits up) yeah?

Mar: My phone is between the bed and the wall and the alarm is going to go off in like 5 minutes... will you help me move the bed before it goes off and wakes everyone up?

Kaitlynn: Okay.

So we proceed to rescue said phone...albeit by moving the whole bed.. the phone somehow got stuck between the box frame and the wall...

At this point Mar gets up to shower and Kaitlynn grabs all the blankets and gets ready to sleep for another 25 minutes per the pre-allotted time as organized the night before.

            God: Good morning, beautiful daughter!

            Kaitlynn:Good morning, Daddy.  (eyes closed, but smiling)

God:I know you want to sleep for another 25 minutes, but I’d like it if you came outside and spent some time with me this morning.

Kaitlynn: Daddy, didn’t you see the memo last night?  I’m spending time with You from 8:00-8:30, after I shower.  I have 23 minutes left of sleep..

God:I did see your memo last night....I have other plans though.  I want you to come outside and watch the sunrise with Me.  I want to spend some quality time with you to start your day.

Kaitlynn:Buuuuut, Dadddd it’s really cold outside!  And it’s sssoooo warm under all these blankies.  Can’t we just wait ‘till after I shower?  I’m not even really awake yet, and I haven’t had any coffee, and (interrupted)

God:Come out here, Kaitlynn.

Kaitlynn:Sorry, Daddy.  I’m just gonna sleep for 17 more minutes.  See you in half an hour.

I snuggle down in my blankies and pretend that I’m not ignoring the Maker of the Universe... 17 minutes later...

Mar: (walking out of the bathroom and whispering so as not to wake the other girls) Kaitlynn, did you see the text from Chad?

Kaitlynn:No. (gets up to check phone.  Reads message that says something like: “Hey guys, I announced the wrong start time for Chapel this morning.  It actually starts at 9:00...not 9:30.  [Leaders] Please meet at 8:30 in foyer..”)  Oh.

Mar:Yeah.. we need to tell the girls and start breakfast.. now!

Kaitlynn:Okay.  I’m gonna hop in the shower.  We still have 15ish minutes before we need to wake everyone up.

So I take a nice warm shower, get dressed, and look outside to the porch outside our room.  Then it hits me.  The Lord knew that I would ‘unexpectedly’ be running 30 minutes behind.  Which was why He wanted me to spend time with Him before my pre-planned time.  At this point I just stare out the window and ask for forgiveness.  I’m so selfish.  

           

Example 2

Setting: Kaitlynn’s Apartment

Time:Not exactly important...

Scene: Kaitlynn feels gentle nudging to pick up book she’s been trying[somewhat half-heartedly] to read for 2 weeks.

She gets on Pinterest...

A few hours later, same nudging feeling creeps in.

Kaitlynn watches Beauty and the Beast instead.

The next day, as Kaitlynn is again on Pinterest...the nudging.

            God:Kaitlynn, dear I’d like You to go read your book.

            Kaitlynn:Sorry, Lord but I’m busy.

            God: No you’re not..you’re actually really bored...

            Kaitlynn:Okay, I am...but still. (continues to pursue nothing on Pinterest)

A little later

            God:Are you ready to listen to me now?

            Kaitlynn: (exhales) I guess so..

            God:Why do you fight me?  You love to read!!!

Kaitlynn: I know, Daddy... I’m just stubborn and don’t like to admit my failures.  I know I have things we need to work out. 

God: I know, sweetheart.  Come to me.  My arms are open and waiting for you.  I will always love you.  You know that!  So why do you doubt it?

Kaitlynn: I don’t doubt that you love me!!  I doubt my own mind in a happy ending.  Will you grow in me a trust for You above all others?

God: (just smiles, and takes my hand)

And I go read.  And it’s exactly what I need. 

I don’t want anyone to be confused...  I don’t hear God speak audibly.  My conversations with God are more like impressions on my heart.  That being said, the impressions on my heart are words of their own.  They are heart-spirit conversations with my Maker.  Since He created me, He knows how to speak to me in a way that cannot be denied or ignored... well I do my best to ignore them sometimes...but I never last for long!!

Some people do hear audible words from the Lord, some see images from the Lord.  Everyone is different, and every walk with God is different.  This is just what mine looks like. :)

I hope these confessions bolster you to turn and listen to the Father the first time.  The school of hard knocks is not what I recommend.

Thanks for reading.  To God be the glory!!

~Kaitlynn Marie

Back to Simplicity

Slowing down and finding the stillness has been a good thing for me this week. I've felt out of control. The Lord is showing me once again that {thankfully} I don't have to need to be in control. I'm switching majors again.... This time I think will be permanent.

I know that I'm not an academic....yes I am a learner, a person who likes to learn things. But classrooms and textbooks don't inspire me. And as hard as I've tried, I cannot live life uninspired. Maybe there are people who can, but I am not one of them. Which is absolutely okay! :)

I'm switching my major back to agricultural science. There I won't have to take as much science or chemistry, and I might, just might actually graduate next year. I've never been able to see myself graduating before... {chuckle}. But now I can.

Don't be afraid to live YOUR life. The 1 life that God has given you.


Until next time
Kaitlynn Marie

In the Stillness

The stillness... that place between the rumblings of earth and the glories of heaven.  Do you know the place?  The place where we can feel the touch of the Father, and we can simply sit?  This familiar place can sometimes have unfamiliar paths that lead towards it.  Sometimes, we can't find the deer trail that the Lord is pointing us to, and sometimes we take a look at that interstate and turn around, never imagining that it was there God wanted to meet us in the stillness. 

I guess I've never called it by name.  But if fits.  In the stillness is where my breathing fades away, peace steals over me, and I can just talk with my Abba.  It is here that time stands still and I see things through different eyes.  Eyes that built the world...one word at a time. 

Today I didn't even realize I was there with my Lord when it came over me.  I found what it is I've been looking for.  In the past few years I have had the tendency to dance from idea to idea.. never staying with one for long because it didn't seem right.  Most people would call it growing up.  Up until now I've always felt that the decisions I make in this stage of my life will forever shape what I'm to do, and that once a final decision has been made, there's no changing, no going back. 

Looking at my previous logic now makes me chuckle.  God is forever molding us, shaping us, stretching us to make us more like Him.  Naturally then, how could one career or job title allow me that?  I realize that I'm just fine with not being able to see past the next 5 years.  It's scary how much that actually puts me at ease.  I don't have to have all of the answers.  I can finish my degree, and then take the steps that have been literally right in front of my face for the last 3 years. 

Would you like to know what God revealed to me in the stillness today?  Of course, it was something I already knew... but I'd never put it into the right light or perspective before. 
This is what I learned today:

I love my job.  I love dispatching wildfires.  I love small town home that I have spent over half of my life in.  I have the strength, patience, and love for my Lord to wait for my husband there.  

The Lord has not started a work in me that He will not finish.  His work isn't done for me in my little town at home which hosts no traffic lights, no department stores, and no busyness.  Safeway and Subway are the only names you would recognize if you drove through the place of my birth.

And once again... it makes sense.  Move home and live with my parents until I can find a place of my own to rent.  Someplace small, with one or two bedrooms, and maybe a backyard so I can get a dog.  There I can continue to write and learn.  I can be a wildfire dispatcher.  I can discover what it is that the Creator has hidden for me in this world. 

And maybe it will be there that I meet my Prince Charming.. and maybe it's not.  From there I may be called to missions or back here to my university-town.  I ask myself sometimes how I know it's really God's call or will for me to do something.  Others have asked me as well.  For me, it's simple.  I know it's God's call when there are no if, buts, ands, or ors about it.  There are no strings attached.  It comes from an unlikely place, and yet it's the most organic solution to the problem.  Haha... that's not a scientific answer, or even one I would recommend using to judge your own life...but it is how every call on my life has been. 

In this new decision I'm not afraid or sad[yet] to leave my friends, I'm not afraid of being trapped in a small town for the rest of my life.  I'm content to just be.  I'm content to serve in this capacity.  This too will be enough.

Is there an unanswered question or prayer in your own life that maybe just needs to be looked at in a different light?  Have you taken time to really enter the stillness and be with your Creator, or have you asked from a distance, unwilling to commit your whole being to it?  Find that place, and ask again.  You may be surprised by the answer you receive.  Thank you for reading.

-Kaitlynn Marie

To God Be The Glory

Hopefully I don't fall asleep before I finish this post!  I pitched hay covered in mud and alpaca poop for 7 hours today....lets just say that my body is one huge blister, my shoulders might just pop out of their sockets, and my head is pounding.  But all is well.  My heart is at rest, and a hard day's work is something to be proud of!

I hosted Thanksgiving for the first time in my life this year!  It all went well and without a hitch!  God continues to bless me with this apartment and every single one of our 5 couches! 

My parents and little brother drove up on Wednesday.  Dad is the cook in our family (seriously, he is a goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooood cook.  not. even. over-exaggerating.)  so he brought most of the food.  I supplied cranberry sauce :)  My poor kitchen is still feeling the effects of his-er-organic?-way-of-approaching-cooking = a huge mess.  But you can't argue with facts that the food tastes delicious.

Sometimes my family is hard to spend a lot of time with, but again I was blessed with sweet time with my parents this week.  My aunt came over for Thanksgiving, as well as her 4 children....(well 2 adults, 2 children...technically, but we consider them all children..haha..yeahh)  All in all there were 12 of us in my little 900 sq ft apartment.  But with 5 couches and 2 awesome swively chairs, plus a huge coffee table, it all worked out. 

Thursday my aunt asked us if we'd like to go black friday shopping??? My dad and I said, "Sure, why not?!"  Oh. my. goodness.  It was crazy, fun, cold, and we did find some amazing deals.  We were up too late, (went to bed at 1:30 after hitting Walmart, Target, Old Navy, and Kohls), then got up way too early (to go to BiMart, KMart, Big 5, and Joannes), but it was fun.  We're not really serious shoppers, but we did get some crazy stuff, and had a good time doing it.  We may have made it out of Target with everything on our list before everyone had even made it inside (15 minutes, people.. I don't know how we did that.), and we may have cut in front of 500 people at Kohls (except it wasn't cutting, b/c those 500 people weren't standing in line.  Word of advise...the ladies at the jewelry counter were never told they could only check out people with jewelry... hehehe.)  So yeah, it was a good week, a long week, but yeah. 

Just thought I'd post an update. 

Unfortunately my family didn't see the need to stop and really ponder the meaning of giving thanks, or to give the glory to God.  It's hard being a light to people you know so well, to people who think they're living the Christian life...but really, they're not.  Lord willing, next year will look different.  But for the here and now I won't regret what didn't happen.  I will still thank the Lord and give Him the glory.  If only for the fact that no one ran out of the house screaming at each other.  Yes, I am at peace.  And I am thankful for that.

How was your Thanksgiving?  Was there something that made this year stick out from memories past?  

Thank you for reading.
Have a blessed day,
Kaitlynn Marie

The Ugliness Inside

Sometimes, my walk with Jesus isn't pretty.  In fact, sometimes it's ugly.  I become a self-centered daughter.  I become a danger to myself and others.  For a long time I walked around with the ugliness disguised as beauty.  The darkness trying to only reflect the light, not actually being light.
2 weekends ago Mar and I had the great pleasure of being Cabin Leaders at the Fall Retreat for our College Ministry.  I guess I should back up.  Looking back at it now, it was a pleasure.  When we found out 2 days before the retreat started that we were going to be leaders, our response was much different.  Hahaha... We lead a small group (a.k.a small bible study for women) through the college ministry we attend, and so we were automatically put into the pool of people signed up to be leaders.

240 college-aged students attended Fall Retreat.  Each cabin had 10 people, with only a few having 11.  Each cabin is paired up with a cabin of the opposite gender to be a group.  They then eat dinner together and hang out and just have fun.  (I also think it's a ploy to get everyone married..hahaha.  Our leadership says that they don't run a dating service, but sometimes..sometimes I'm not sure what they're thinking.)

So yeah.  Mar and I find out that we're going to be cabin leaders and we think, "Oh crap.  What in the world does that mean and what are we supposed to do."  Mar is a middle school leader, and I've taught Sunday school classes...to little kids.  Neither of us had any experience with people our own age.  We turned it over to God and prayed, "Not for our glory, but for Yours."

:)  It's amazing how God always knows what He's doing.  You think we'd have figured it out by now...but sometimes we don't.

The Lord spoke to me Saturday night and told me that I was supposed to share my testimony.  The whole ugly truth of it that makes it His.  So I did...of course I asked every other person in our cabin if they wanted to share...multiple times, but when the lull of conversation came I knew.  And then I took the plunge.  I revealed to the 10 other girls in my cabin the darkness I had overcome.  The darkness I had only shared with one other person in my entire life.  Luckily she was sitting beside me, holding my hand. 

My chains were broken, and it was at that moment that I really was set free.  Even more amazing, was the fact that because I had said, "Okay, God this is for you." He used it to open up girls that I don't think would have.  We learned from each other that we all have deep hurts...we're all just pretty good at hiding it.  We stayed up until 1 o'clock in the morning.  We cried and prayed over almost every girl in the cabin.  It was amazing.

The truth will set you free.  I've said this before, and people have rebuked me.  But I will not be silent.  The pain in confession is nothing compared to the love of the Redeemer.  

I am amazed that the ugliness that I felt defined me for so long is simply gone.  Of course there time that  a little part of the ugliness tries to come back.  But it is so. much. simpler. to. tell the. enemy. no. now.  Seriously.

In my housechurch a few weeks ago we talked about names.  We were asked what names the world has given us and what names has the Lord given us.  My name, it means "Pure".  That right there... it gives me hope that the Lord still has a plan for my life.  He knew that I would need that reminder.  In Jesus I am pure, whole, and loved.

What are the secrets that you are ashamed of?  That you don't want anyone to find out about?  Those are the ones that your Abba [Father] wants you to give up to Him.  That heavy burden you've been carrying on your shoulders?  It shouldn't be there.  Cast your cares upon the Lord.  Cast your cares like a rod when you fish.  If you're still holding onto the lure, then how far do you think your line will go?  There is no condemnation in Christ Jesus our Lord.  

Thanks for reading, and until next time,
Kaitlynn Marie  

Compassion

This is the sweet boy that I sponsor through Compassion International.  His name is Kenneth.  He just turned 8 and he lives in Nicaragua.
My history with Compassion is a long one.  I have been a part of sponsoring kids through Compassion since I was in 2nd grade.  My church at home sponsored a child that was a year older than me until he was 16 when he left the program. 
I then had the pleasure of researching the next two children that my church/youth group would sponsor.  A 14 year old girl from Africa, and a 5 year old boy from India.

Sponsoring a child through Compassion is $38 a month.  By providing $38 a month, you are giving a child a chance to survive and thrive.

I toured around the country singing and dancing for Jesus with a group called the Young Continentals for 12 weeks in middle school.  We were a partner with Compassion.  Every night I shared the gospel and asked people to support a child, and yet I wasn't willing to let the Lord work in my life and provide.

I look back at all of the time that I could have spent pouring into a child, supporting a child, and it makes me sad.  I always told myself "You're a middle schooler, you don't have money to do that." or "You a freshman in college, you really don't have any money." 

I can truly tell you that supporting a child through Compassion has been one of the most eye-opening experiences of my life.  Even though I was an advocate for so long, I never imagined how a relationship with a child would affect me personally. 

Kenneth has asthma.  He lives in Villa Nueva, Nicaragua where most adults earn an equivalent of $68 a month and are unemployed..
The $38 a month I proved is half as much as his mother makes. 
A sponsorship allows Compassion to:

• Provide Kenneth with Bible teaching,
• A Bible,
• Medical check-ups (especially necessary b/c of his asthma problem),
• Nutritious food,
• Hygiene education,
• Special celebrations,
• Recreational activities,
• Tutoring,
• School uniforms,
• Shoes, 
• and Academic support.
• Also the local staff will provide monthly meetings and evangelistic home visits for Kenneth's mom.  

So much for so little on my part. 
It's not just Kenneth that thrives from my support.  My heart has been greatly touched.  One of the great things that we can do with our sponsored children is write letters.  When was the last time you wrote a letter?  Not an email or a memo or even a Christmas card, but a letter.  There's something about seeing the words that your child has written in their own language.
Letters between Kenneth and I take about 3 months to process, be shipped, and then actually received.  I'd like to share with you the last letter I got from him. 

Hello dear sponsor Kaitlynn!

May God bless you.  I'm very thankful for writing to you again.  I hope that you are in good health and your family, praise God.  Now I'm in 3rd grade.  I feel very happy because I was congratulated at the project because I'm very intelligent.  I had medical check up and I did very well and we're being given foliar extract to avoid anemia.  there will be a dental C.I.V from the project.  We're going to be taken to a clinic specialized in teeth.  Have you taken foliar extract?  Are you afraid of going to the dentist?  We are taught more about God at the project and about how to protect the animals.  The teachers of the project teaches us about the clay from which we were made and that God shapes our lives like clay.  Do you know the clay?  Has God shaped your life?  I close this letter with much affection.  I ask you to always pray for me.  Here, I'll be praying for you.

Your child,

Kenneth

By the time I was finished reading this letter through, my eyes were no where near dry.  You see, this child has captured my heart. This little 8 year old boy has already gotten to the heart of the issue.  Do you know the clay?  Has God shaped your life?
Yes.  Yes I know the clay!  God has indeed shaped my life!  It's a never ending process, but yes I'm living it.

If Kenneth can have such faith in his circumstances, shouldn't our faith be so much more abundant?  I believe that there are many of us who really can support a child.  I'm asking you to step up.  I'm asking you to impact the life of a child around the world in ways that we cannot even begin to imagine. 

My stopping block before was fear.  The reason this post has been sitting in my drafts for over a month was because of fear. 

It's simple.  It's strange.  It's obvious.  We. can't. live. our. lives. in. fear.  Truly.  It's something I've struggled with for a long time.  Fear of many different things.  Tonight I'm letting the love of the Father drown out all the fear.  His love is enough to reach across eternity and provide me with $38 a month.  His love is enough. 

 


{Thanks for reading.  If you'd be praying for me?  Drowning out fear in my life is going to be a multi-step process back to the Father.  Handing over the reins again is going to take time.  I'll be coming back here to share my thoughts, journey, and whatever the Lord puts on my heart. Is there anything that you need prayer for?  What is especially hard in your life right now?  Sweet dreams and until next time -Kaitlynn }