....I have been awake for a little over 36 hours. The majority of it has been spent on the 'tall couch' at our dining room table watching the TV show Felicity. Yeah... Most of Season 2, all of Season 3, and the first 9 episodes of Season 4. Apparently TV shows on Netflix are my thing. Add some extra cheese and this hopeless romantic is set to go. You know the weird thing? The past 36 hours have gone by extremely fast. I seriously got almost nothing accomplished, besides watching Felicity of course. I did do the dishes Tuesday afternoon (this is really sad. It's already early Thursday morning.) and I did eat three good meals. I also showered, and played guitar for like 30 minutes, which was great. Except the only song I remember how to play right now is "Someone like you" by Adele. Well I guess it's not a bad thing. It's just the only thing I can currently play.
Mar is visiting her soon to be in-laws, and Marz is house sitting. Which is the only reason I have managed to pull off this whole 36 hour-being-awake-thing. My eyelids are getting droopy, but I just thought I'd share part of my Christmas break with you.
Until next time,
-Kaitlynn
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Sunday, December 18, 2011
When Everything You Do
Is For God's Glory.
The past few days here have been sweet times spent with the Lord. It shouldn't surprise me that when I take the time to actually enter the stillness, and to spend time with my God, I can see the fruit in everything else. For me there are distinct times of rushing through, living through, and walking through time, events, and days.
Rushing through is when I'm going a million miles an hour, I'm always out of breath, and it seems I can't see straight enough to know where I am.
(photo credit)
Living through is just going through the motions. Going here and there, not rushing, but not really understanding or processing anything.
Walking through is the place where I internalize, where I can connect the dots. Even though the world is moving around me, time stands still. It's where I most easily meet Yeshua.
I have a new appreciation for people who work in retail year-round. I'm on day two and already my knees are killing me! But it's a small thing to suffer, for how fun my job really is. I'm a 'greeter' at Hallmark. Translation: Smile and talk to people when they come in.
I can do this!
Last night I had my first shift and I prayed the whole way there that God would give me humility in learning a new set of job-skills, and that I would shine for Him.
This morning, I spent the car ride there praying the same thing. That my smiles and "How are you doing todays" would be more than just surface things. I prayed that they would truly come from within and that Jesus would shine through me.
There were lots of people in and out of the store today. It's amazing how much a smile and a few kind words can really change someone's disposition. One older lady commented to me that she was glad that I told her Merry Christmas. She said she missed hearing it around. She was truly happy. Something so small on my part.
There was another lady that I helped with her shopping. I can't even really remember what it was that I helped her find. An ornament or two and an address book small enough to fit in her purse. She was a sweet, grandmotherly sort and by the end of her shopping she was calling me by name and wishing me a Merry Christmas. I was surprised to see her about an hour later. I told her hello again, and she promptly asked me how long I was working. I told her until four, and she said good. She wanted to make sure I would be there ten minutes later, and not on break or something.
A short time later she walked in with a little red gift bag in her hand. She walked right up to me and said, "Kaitlynn, this is a Christmas gift for you. Thank you for helping me this morning, I appreciate it! You can go ahead and open it now."
I was speechless and probably would have started crying if I'd had a little more time to think about it. I opened the bag and inside was an angel ornament that she had had customized with my name and 2011. I thanked her, gave her a hug, told her to have a blessed Christmas, and she was gone. I never even got her name.
I turned around to face my co-workers, and one of them was crying. They'd never seen anything like it.
To God be the glory.
I hope that what the grandmotherly sweetheart saw in me today was Jesus. I know it couldn't have been my knowledge of the store or products...it was my second day today. Her kindness blessed me beyond belief. I went to the back room and thanked the Lord.
My goal is simply to be the warmth and love of the Father. So many little old ladies make their way into our store, and I wonder how often they get to talk to someone. How often do they see their children and grandkids? I know now that this job wasn't sent to me because I needed the money. I was sent to this job because I have a role to fill in impacting people.
I may not be able to say anything about my Savior, but I can smile, ask how d'ya do, and simply love people. Now more than ever I cry out, "To God be the glory."
Where in your own life can you be the hands and feet of Jesus?
Until next time,
Kaitlynn Marie
The past few days here have been sweet times spent with the Lord. It shouldn't surprise me that when I take the time to actually enter the stillness, and to spend time with my God, I can see the fruit in everything else. For me there are distinct times of rushing through, living through, and walking through time, events, and days.
Rushing through is when I'm going a million miles an hour, I'm always out of breath, and it seems I can't see straight enough to know where I am.
(photo credit)
Living through is just going through the motions. Going here and there, not rushing, but not really understanding or processing anything.
Walking through is the place where I internalize, where I can connect the dots. Even though the world is moving around me, time stands still. It's where I most easily meet Yeshua.
I have a new appreciation for people who work in retail year-round. I'm on day two and already my knees are killing me! But it's a small thing to suffer, for how fun my job really is. I'm a 'greeter' at Hallmark. Translation: Smile and talk to people when they come in.
I can do this!
Last night I had my first shift and I prayed the whole way there that God would give me humility in learning a new set of job-skills, and that I would shine for Him.
This morning, I spent the car ride there praying the same thing. That my smiles and "How are you doing todays" would be more than just surface things. I prayed that they would truly come from within and that Jesus would shine through me.
There were lots of people in and out of the store today. It's amazing how much a smile and a few kind words can really change someone's disposition. One older lady commented to me that she was glad that I told her Merry Christmas. She said she missed hearing it around. She was truly happy. Something so small on my part.
There was another lady that I helped with her shopping. I can't even really remember what it was that I helped her find. An ornament or two and an address book small enough to fit in her purse. She was a sweet, grandmotherly sort and by the end of her shopping she was calling me by name and wishing me a Merry Christmas. I was surprised to see her about an hour later. I told her hello again, and she promptly asked me how long I was working. I told her until four, and she said good. She wanted to make sure I would be there ten minutes later, and not on break or something.
A short time later she walked in with a little red gift bag in her hand. She walked right up to me and said, "Kaitlynn, this is a Christmas gift for you. Thank you for helping me this morning, I appreciate it! You can go ahead and open it now."
I was speechless and probably would have started crying if I'd had a little more time to think about it. I opened the bag and inside was an angel ornament that she had had customized with my name and 2011. I thanked her, gave her a hug, told her to have a blessed Christmas, and she was gone. I never even got her name.
I turned around to face my co-workers, and one of them was crying. They'd never seen anything like it.
To God be the glory.
I hope that what the grandmotherly sweetheart saw in me today was Jesus. I know it couldn't have been my knowledge of the store or products...it was my second day today. Her kindness blessed me beyond belief. I went to the back room and thanked the Lord.
My goal is simply to be the warmth and love of the Father. So many little old ladies make their way into our store, and I wonder how often they get to talk to someone. How often do they see their children and grandkids? I know now that this job wasn't sent to me because I needed the money. I was sent to this job because I have a role to fill in impacting people.
I may not be able to say anything about my Savior, but I can smile, ask how d'ya do, and simply love people. Now more than ever I cry out, "To God be the glory."
Where in your own life can you be the hands and feet of Jesus?
Until next time,
Kaitlynn Marie
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Praise the Lord
I sit here so happy, so full of joy that I know I must share it with the world. The Lord has blessed me so, and it's incredible to see His works fulfilled in my life, and the lives of those around me! I love how the Lord works, and I love that His timing is always right, always perfect.
I have been job hunting since August. I've sent resume after resume to no apparent avail. And then a little over a month ago God used my aunt to put me in contact with a potential employer. At the time she didn't have any open positions. Meanwhile, I knew that when God wanted me to have a job, I would have a job. I haven't been too terribly worried about it.
And then 2 weeks ago my aunt texted me and told me to go get on Craigslist. The employer had called my aunt to tell her that she posted a job there. So I found the job posting and once again sent in my resume. I never heard anything back, and so I trusted God with my future job.
Since then I've applied for another position, but haven't heard back from it either. So I decided earlier this week that I would head home today. That if I hadn't heard anything from anyone, it was God's will and it would be enough. I think I decided on today because my mother called and said I had a dentist appointment at home on Friday. I hate the dentist. Always have, and most likely always will. It takes me about a day to prepare, so today was the day.
Well, today was the day, until I got a phone call.
A voicemail actually saying that yes she would love to bring me on, and could I start Thursday or Friday? I get to greet people... as a job. Hallelujah!!
I called her back, confirmed the phone call, then about burst into tears when I hung up. How great is our God? His timing is absolute. He always makes sure we're provided for.
So praise #1: You are reading the blog of an employed woman! The work is supposed to last until New Years, but that in itself is such a blessing! I cannot glorify the Name of the Lord enough!
Because I now have a job, that means that I'm staying in College town for Christmas. Mar and I have been talking about getting a Christmas tree for a while, but never did because we both weren't going to be here.
After my exciting news last night, we decided that a Christmas tree from the little place down the road would be a great celebration! Well it was a good idea until Mar's boyfriend suggested we wait because he had actually bought tree permits for them to go tree hunting today.... Sneaky, sneaky boy!
And so Mar and I jumped to the obvious conclusion...he was going to propose! So we got super squirly and then went and got large coffees (at 6:00pm...bad idea). Then J came over and the 3 of us hung out and watched 8 Below and when he went home just after midnight, we got all excited again, but realized that just because we thought Mar might be getting engaged today didn't mean she was. The coffee, adrenaline, giggles, and whispering kept us up until 2:00 this morning..
We both calmed down and were pretty normal getting ready. Then they went Christmas tree hunting and I picked up the book I'm reading (Fifth Seal by Bodie and Brock Thoene. I HIGHLY recommend their books!!! SO. MUCH. TRUTH!) right now, and it was a normal afternoon. I was praying for my lunch and the two of them, just putting everything into God's hands, when I got the prompt on my phone at 1:34 that said, one new picture waiting to be downloaded, I about lost it! SSSSOOOO excited for two of my best friends on this planet.
Not only are these two seriously my best friends, they are amazing examples of a relationship centered around the Lord. I am blessed by them so so much! It's so good to see God growing in them individually and in their relationship, and I'm just so excited to see them take this next step in life. We are growing up. It's crazy, and I cannot believe it sometimes, but it's real! I'm so thankful that God put them in my life.
So praise #2: My best friend is engaged.
It's kind of a weird praise I guess, but it just makes sense. God gets all the glory in their relationship, and that folks is what it's all about. Not J's glory, not Mar's glory, but God's glory. His work through them.
What do you have to be thankful for today? Make it made known to God. He's excited to share in your joy!
All the glory to God!
-Kaitlynn Marie
And then 2 weeks ago my aunt texted me and told me to go get on Craigslist. The employer had called my aunt to tell her that she posted a job there. So I found the job posting and once again sent in my resume. I never heard anything back, and so I trusted God with my future job.
Since then I've applied for another position, but haven't heard back from it either. So I decided earlier this week that I would head home today. That if I hadn't heard anything from anyone, it was God's will and it would be enough. I think I decided on today because my mother called and said I had a dentist appointment at home on Friday. I hate the dentist. Always have, and most likely always will. It takes me about a day to prepare, so today was the day.
Well, today was the day, until I got a phone call.
A voicemail actually saying that yes she would love to bring me on, and could I start Thursday or Friday? I get to greet people... as a job. Hallelujah!!
I called her back, confirmed the phone call, then about burst into tears when I hung up. How great is our God? His timing is absolute. He always makes sure we're provided for.
So praise #1: You are reading the blog of an employed woman! The work is supposed to last until New Years, but that in itself is such a blessing! I cannot glorify the Name of the Lord enough!
Because I now have a job, that means that I'm staying in College town for Christmas. Mar and I have been talking about getting a Christmas tree for a while, but never did because we both weren't going to be here.
After my exciting news last night, we decided that a Christmas tree from the little place down the road would be a great celebration! Well it was a good idea until Mar's boyfriend suggested we wait because he had actually bought tree permits for them to go tree hunting today.... Sneaky, sneaky boy!
And so Mar and I jumped to the obvious conclusion...he was going to propose! So we got super squirly and then went and got large coffees (at 6:00pm...bad idea). Then J came over and the 3 of us hung out and watched 8 Below and when he went home just after midnight, we got all excited again, but realized that just because we thought Mar might be getting engaged today didn't mean she was. The coffee, adrenaline, giggles, and whispering kept us up until 2:00 this morning..
We both calmed down and were pretty normal getting ready. Then they went Christmas tree hunting and I picked up the book I'm reading (Fifth Seal by Bodie and Brock Thoene. I HIGHLY recommend their books!!! SO. MUCH. TRUTH!) right now, and it was a normal afternoon. I was praying for my lunch and the two of them, just putting everything into God's hands, when I got the prompt on my phone at 1:34 that said, one new picture waiting to be downloaded, I about lost it! SSSSOOOO excited for two of my best friends on this planet.
Not only are these two seriously my best friends, they are amazing examples of a relationship centered around the Lord. I am blessed by them so so much! It's so good to see God growing in them individually and in their relationship, and I'm just so excited to see them take this next step in life. We are growing up. It's crazy, and I cannot believe it sometimes, but it's real! I'm so thankful that God put them in my life.
So praise #2: My best friend is engaged.
It's kind of a weird praise I guess, but it just makes sense. God gets all the glory in their relationship, and that folks is what it's all about. Not J's glory, not Mar's glory, but God's glory. His work through them.
What do you have to be thankful for today? Make it made known to God. He's excited to share in your joy!
All the glory to God!
-Kaitlynn Marie
Saturday, December 10, 2011
When you can't ignore it...
You know those times that the Lord is telling you something? I'm thinking more about the times he's telling you something and you unceremoniously refuse. {okay..maybe it's just me that does that..} I have two prime examples for you this lovely evening in the hopes that you will recognize the voice of the Father and obey.
Example 1
Setting: Fall Retreat {a.k.a beautiful Sun River..very beautiful..think rustic/fancy cabin, slightly chilly as in snowy chilly, and the presence of our Father}
Time: 7:19 AM..or somewhere roughly around there
Scene: Kaitlynn is woken up by slightly panicking roommate Mar.
Mar: Kaitlynn..(no response).. Kaiiiitlynn.
Kaitlynn: (sits up) yeah?
Mar: My phone is between the bed and the wall and the alarm is going to go off in like 5 minutes... will you help me move the bed before it goes off and wakes everyone up?
Kaitlynn: Okay.
So we proceed to rescue said phone...albeit by moving the whole bed.. the phone somehow got stuck between the box frame and the wall...
At this point Mar gets up to shower and Kaitlynn grabs all the blankets and gets ready to sleep for another 25 minutes per the pre-allotted time as organized the night before.
God: Good morning, beautiful daughter!
Kaitlynn:Good morning, Daddy. (eyes closed, but smiling)
God:I know you want to sleep for another 25 minutes, but I’d like it if you came outside and spent some time with me this morning.
Kaitlynn: Daddy, didn’t you see the memo last night? I’m spending time with You from 8:00-8:30, after I shower. I have 23 minutes left of sleep..
God:I did see your memo last night....I have other plans though. I want you to come outside and watch the sunrise with Me. I want to spend some quality time with you to start your day.
Kaitlynn:Buuuuut, Dadddd it’s really cold outside! And it’s sssoooo warm under all these blankies. Can’t we just wait ‘till after I shower? I’m not even really awake yet, and I haven’t had any coffee, and (interrupted)
God:Come out here, Kaitlynn.
Kaitlynn:Sorry, Daddy. I’m just gonna sleep for 17 more minutes. See you in half an hour.
I snuggle down in my blankies and pretend that I’m not ignoring the Maker of the Universe... 17 minutes later...
Mar: (walking out of the bathroom and whispering so as not to wake the other girls) Kaitlynn, did you see the text from Chad?
Kaitlynn:No. (gets up to check phone. Reads message that says something like: “Hey guys, I announced the wrong start time for Chapel this morning. It actually starts at 9:00...not 9:30. [Leaders] Please meet at 8:30 in foyer..”) Oh.
Mar:Yeah.. we need to tell the girls and start breakfast.. now!
Kaitlynn:Okay. I’m gonna hop in the shower. We still have 15ish minutes before we need to wake everyone up.
So I take a nice warm shower, get dressed, and look outside to the porch outside our room. Then it hits me. The Lord knew that I would ‘unexpectedly’ be running 30 minutes behind. Which was why He wanted me to spend time with Him before my pre-planned time. At this point I just stare out the window and ask for forgiveness. I’m so selfish.
Example 2
Setting: Kaitlynn’s Apartment
Time:Not exactly important...
Scene: Kaitlynn feels gentle nudging to pick up book she’s been trying[somewhat half-heartedly] to read for 2 weeks.
She gets on Pinterest...
A few hours later, same nudging feeling creeps in.
Kaitlynn watches Beauty and the Beast instead.
The next day, as Kaitlynn is again on Pinterest...the nudging.
God:Kaitlynn, dear I’d like You to go read your book.
Kaitlynn:Sorry, Lord but I’m busy.
God: No you’re not..you’re actually really bored...
Kaitlynn:Okay, I am...but still. (continues to pursue nothing on Pinterest)
A little later
God:Are you ready to listen to me now?
Kaitlynn: (exhales) I guess so..
God:Why do you fight me? You love to read!!!
Kaitlynn: I know, Daddy... I’m just stubborn and don’t like to admit my failures. I know I have things we need to work out.
God: I know, sweetheart. Come to me. My arms are open and waiting for you. I will always love you. You know that! So why do you doubt it?
Kaitlynn: I don’t doubt that you love me!! I doubt my own mind in a happy ending. Will you grow in me a trust for You above all others?
God: (just smiles, and takes my hand)
And I go read. And it’s exactly what I need.
I don’t want anyone to be confused... I don’t hear God speak audibly. My conversations with God are more like impressions on my heart. That being said, the impressions on my heart are words of their own. They are heart-spirit conversations with my Maker. Since He created me, He knows how to speak to me in a way that cannot be denied or ignored... well I do my best to ignore them sometimes...but I never last for long!!
Some people do hear audible words from the Lord, some see images from the Lord. Everyone is different, and every walk with God is different. This is just what mine looks like. :)
I hope these confessions bolster you to turn and listen to the Father the first time. The school of hard knocks is not what I recommend.
Thanks for reading. To God be the glory!!
~Kaitlynn Marie
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Back to Simplicity
Slowing down and finding the stillness has been a good thing for me this week. I've felt out of control. The Lord is showing me once again that {thankfully} I don't have to
I know that I'm not an academic....yes I am a learner, a person who likes to learn things. But classrooms and textbooks don't inspire me. And as hard as I've tried, I cannot live life uninspired. Maybe there are people who can, but I am not one of them. Which is absolutely okay! :)
I'm switching my major back to agricultural science. There I won't have to take as much science or chemistry, and I might, just might actually graduate next year. I've never been able to see myself graduating before... {chuckle}. But now I can.
Don't be afraid to live YOUR life. The 1 life that God has given you.
Until next time
Kaitlynn Marie
I know that I'm not an academic....yes I am a learner, a person who likes to learn things. But classrooms and textbooks don't inspire me. And as hard as I've tried, I cannot live life uninspired. Maybe there are people who can, but I am not one of them. Which is absolutely okay! :)
I'm switching my major back to agricultural science. There I won't have to take as much science or chemistry, and I might, just might actually graduate next year. I've never been able to see myself graduating before... {chuckle}. But now I can.
Don't be afraid to live YOUR life. The 1 life that God has given you.
Until next time
Kaitlynn Marie
Sunday, December 4, 2011
In the Stillness
The stillness... that place between the rumblings of earth and the glories of heaven. Do you know the place? The place where we can feel the touch of the Father, and we can simply sit? This familiar place can sometimes have unfamiliar paths that lead towards it. Sometimes, we can't find the deer trail that the Lord is pointing us to, and sometimes we take a look at that interstate and turn around, never imagining that it was there God wanted to meet us in the stillness.
I guess I've never called it by name. But if fits. In the stillness is where my breathing fades away, peace steals over me, and I can just talk with my Abba. It is here that time stands still and I see things through different eyes. Eyes that built the world...one word at a time.
Today I didn't even realize I was there with my Lord when it came over me. I found what it is I've been looking for. In the past few years I have had the tendency to dance from idea to idea.. never staying with one for long because it didn't seem right. Most people would call it growing up. Up until now I've always felt that the decisions I make in this stage of my life will forever shape what I'm to do, and that once a final decision has been made, there's no changing, no going back.
Looking at my previous logic now makes me chuckle. God is forever molding us, shaping us, stretching us to make us more like Him. Naturally then, how could one career or job title allow me that? I realize that I'm just fine with not being able to see past the next 5 years. It's scary how much that actually puts me at ease. I don't have to have all of the answers. I can finish my degree, and then take the steps that have been literally right in front of my face for the last 3 years.
Would you like to know what God revealed to me in the stillness today? Of course, it was something I already knew... but I'd never put it into the right light or perspective before.
This is what I learned today:
The Lord has not started a work in me that He will not finish. His work isn't done for me in my little town at home which hosts no traffic lights, no department stores, and no busyness. Safeway and Subway are the only names you would recognize if you drove through the place of my birth.
And once again... it makes sense. Move home and live with my parents until I can find a place of my own to rent. Someplace small, with one or two bedrooms, and maybe a backyard so I can get a dog. There I can continue to write and learn. I can be a wildfire dispatcher. I can discover what it is that the Creator has hidden for me in this world.
And maybe it will be there that I meet my Prince Charming.. and maybe it's not. From there I may be called to missions or back here to my university-town. I ask myself sometimes how I know it's really God's call or will for me to do something. Others have asked me as well. For me, it's simple. I know it's God's call when there are no if, buts, ands, or ors about it. There are no strings attached. It comes from an unlikely place, and yet it's the most organic solution to the problem. Haha... that's not a scientific answer, or even one I would recommend using to judge your own life...but it is how every call on my life has been.
In this new decision I'm not afraid or sad[yet] to leave my friends, I'm not afraid of being trapped in a small town for the rest of my life. I'm content to just be. I'm content to serve in this capacity. This too will be enough.
Is there an unanswered question or prayer in your own life that maybe just needs to be looked at in a different light? Have you taken time to really enter the stillness and be with your Creator, or have you asked from a distance, unwilling to commit your whole being to it? Find that place, and ask again. You may be surprised by the answer you receive. Thank you for reading.
-Kaitlynn Marie
I guess I've never called it by name. But if fits. In the stillness is where my breathing fades away, peace steals over me, and I can just talk with my Abba. It is here that time stands still and I see things through different eyes. Eyes that built the world...one word at a time.
Today I didn't even realize I was there with my Lord when it came over me. I found what it is I've been looking for. In the past few years I have had the tendency to dance from idea to idea.. never staying with one for long because it didn't seem right. Most people would call it growing up. Up until now I've always felt that the decisions I make in this stage of my life will forever shape what I'm to do, and that once a final decision has been made, there's no changing, no going back.
Looking at my previous logic now makes me chuckle. God is forever molding us, shaping us, stretching us to make us more like Him. Naturally then, how could one career or job title allow me that? I realize that I'm just fine with not being able to see past the next 5 years. It's scary how much that actually puts me at ease. I don't have to have all of the answers. I can finish my degree, and then take the steps that have been literally right in front of my face for the last 3 years.
Would you like to know what God revealed to me in the stillness today? Of course, it was something I already knew... but I'd never put it into the right light or perspective before.
This is what I learned today:
I love my job. I love dispatching wildfires. I love small town home that I have spent over half of my life in. I have the strength, patience, and love for my Lord to wait for my husband there.
The Lord has not started a work in me that He will not finish. His work isn't done for me in my little town at home which hosts no traffic lights, no department stores, and no busyness. Safeway and Subway are the only names you would recognize if you drove through the place of my birth.
And once again... it makes sense. Move home and live with my parents until I can find a place of my own to rent. Someplace small, with one or two bedrooms, and maybe a backyard so I can get a dog. There I can continue to write and learn. I can be a wildfire dispatcher. I can discover what it is that the Creator has hidden for me in this world.
And maybe it will be there that I meet my Prince Charming.. and maybe it's not. From there I may be called to missions or back here to my university-town. I ask myself sometimes how I know it's really God's call or will for me to do something. Others have asked me as well. For me, it's simple. I know it's God's call when there are no if, buts, ands, or ors about it. There are no strings attached. It comes from an unlikely place, and yet it's the most organic solution to the problem. Haha... that's not a scientific answer, or even one I would recommend using to judge your own life...but it is how every call on my life has been.
In this new decision I'm not afraid or sad[yet] to leave my friends, I'm not afraid of being trapped in a small town for the rest of my life. I'm content to just be. I'm content to serve in this capacity. This too will be enough.
Is there an unanswered question or prayer in your own life that maybe just needs to be looked at in a different light? Have you taken time to really enter the stillness and be with your Creator, or have you asked from a distance, unwilling to commit your whole being to it? Find that place, and ask again. You may be surprised by the answer you receive. Thank you for reading.
-Kaitlynn Marie
Saturday, November 26, 2011
To God Be The Glory
Hopefully I don't fall asleep before I finish this post! I pitched hay covered in mud and alpaca poop for 7 hours today....lets just say that my body is one huge blister, my shoulders might just pop out of their sockets, and my head is pounding. But all is well. My heart is at rest, and a hard day's work is something to be proud of!
I hosted Thanksgiving for the first time in my life this year! It all went well and without a hitch! God continues to bless me with this apartment and every single one of our 5 couches!
My parents and little brother drove up on Wednesday. Dad is the cook in our family (seriously, he is a goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooood cook. not. even. over-exaggerating.) so he brought most of the food. I supplied cranberry sauce :) My poor kitchen is still feeling the effects of his-er-organic?-way-of-approaching-cooking = a huge mess. But you can't argue with facts that the food tastes delicious.
Sometimes my family is hard to spend a lot of time with, but again I was blessed with sweet time with my parents this week. My aunt came over for Thanksgiving, as well as her 4 children....(well 2 adults, 2 children...technically, but we consider them all children..haha..yeahh) All in all there were 12 of us in my little 900 sq ft apartment. But with 5 couches and 2 awesome swively chairs, plus a huge coffee table, it all worked out.
Thursday my aunt asked us if we'd like to go black friday shopping??? My dad and I said, "Sure, why not?!" Oh. my. goodness. It was crazy, fun, cold, and we did find some amazing deals. We were up too late, (went to bed at 1:30 after hitting Walmart, Target, Old Navy, and Kohls), then got up way too early (to go to BiMart, KMart, Big 5, and Joannes), but it was fun. We're not really serious shoppers, but we did get some crazy stuff, and had a good time doing it. We may have made it out of Target with everything on our list before everyone had even made it inside (15 minutes, people.. I don't know how we did that.), and we may have cut in front of 500 people at Kohls (except it wasn't cutting, b/c those 500 people weren't standing in line. Word of advise...the ladies at the jewelry counter were never told they could only check out people with jewelry... hehehe.) So yeah, it was a good week, a long week, but yeah.
Just thought I'd post an update.
Unfortunately my family didn't see the need to stop and really ponder the meaning of giving thanks, or to give the glory to God. It's hard being a light to people you know so well, to people who think they're living the Christian life...but really, they're not. Lord willing, next year will look different. But for the here and now I won't regret what didn't happen. I will still thank the Lord and give Him the glory. If only for the fact that no one ran out of the house screaming at each other. Yes, I am at peace. And I am thankful for that.
How was your Thanksgiving? Was there something that made this year stick out from memories past?
Thank you for reading.
Have a blessed day,
Kaitlynn Marie
I hosted Thanksgiving for the first time in my life this year! It all went well and without a hitch! God continues to bless me with this apartment and every single one of our 5 couches!
My parents and little brother drove up on Wednesday. Dad is the cook in our family (seriously, he is a goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooood cook. not. even. over-exaggerating.) so he brought most of the food. I supplied cranberry sauce :) My poor kitchen is still feeling the effects of his-er-organic?-way-of-approaching-cooking = a huge mess. But you can't argue with facts that the food tastes delicious.
Sometimes my family is hard to spend a lot of time with, but again I was blessed with sweet time with my parents this week. My aunt came over for Thanksgiving, as well as her 4 children....(well 2 adults, 2 children...technically, but we consider them all children..haha..yeahh) All in all there were 12 of us in my little 900 sq ft apartment. But with 5 couches and 2 awesome swively chairs, plus a huge coffee table, it all worked out.
Thursday my aunt asked us if we'd like to go black friday shopping??? My dad and I said, "Sure, why not?!" Oh. my. goodness. It was crazy, fun, cold, and we did find some amazing deals. We were up too late, (went to bed at 1:30 after hitting Walmart, Target, Old Navy, and Kohls), then got up way too early (to go to BiMart, KMart, Big 5, and Joannes), but it was fun. We're not really serious shoppers, but we did get some crazy stuff, and had a good time doing it. We may have made it out of Target with everything on our list before everyone had even made it inside (15 minutes, people.. I don't know how we did that.), and we may have cut in front of 500 people at Kohls (except it wasn't cutting, b/c those 500 people weren't standing in line. Word of advise...the ladies at the jewelry counter were never told they could only check out people with jewelry... hehehe.) So yeah, it was a good week, a long week, but yeah.
Just thought I'd post an update.
Unfortunately my family didn't see the need to stop and really ponder the meaning of giving thanks, or to give the glory to God. It's hard being a light to people you know so well, to people who think they're living the Christian life...but really, they're not. Lord willing, next year will look different. But for the here and now I won't regret what didn't happen. I will still thank the Lord and give Him the glory. If only for the fact that no one ran out of the house screaming at each other. Yes, I am at peace. And I am thankful for that.
How was your Thanksgiving? Was there something that made this year stick out from memories past?
Thank you for reading.
Have a blessed day,
Kaitlynn Marie
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
The Ugliness Inside
Sometimes, my walk with Jesus isn't pretty. In fact, sometimes it's ugly. I become a self-centered daughter. I become a danger to myself and others. For a long time I walked around with the ugliness disguised as beauty. The darkness trying to only reflect the light, not actually being light.
2 weekends ago Mar and I had the great pleasure of being Cabin Leaders at the Fall Retreat for our College Ministry. I guess I should back up. Looking back at it now, it was a pleasure. When we found out 2 days before the retreat started that we were going to be leaders, our response was much different. Hahaha... We lead a small group (a.k.a small bible study for women) through the college ministry we attend, and so we were automatically put into the pool of people signed up to be leaders.
240 college-aged students attended Fall Retreat. Each cabin had 10 people, with only a few having 11. Each cabin is paired up with a cabin of the opposite gender to be a group. They then eat dinner together and hang out and just have fun. (I also think it's a ploy to get everyone married..hahaha. Our leadership says that they don't run a dating service, but sometimes..sometimes I'm not sure what they're thinking.)
So yeah. Mar and I find out that we're going to be cabin leaders and we think, "Oh crap. What in the world does that mean and what are we supposed to do." Mar is a middle school leader, and I've taught Sunday school classes...to little kids. Neither of us had any experience with people our own age. We turned it over to God and prayed, "Not for our glory, but for Yours."
:) It's amazing how God always knows what He's doing. You think we'd have figured it out by now...but sometimes we don't.
The Lord spoke to me Saturday night and told me that I was supposed to share my testimony. The whole ugly truth of it that makes it His. So I did...of course I asked every other person in our cabin if they wanted to share...multiple times, but when the lull of conversation came I knew. And then I took the plunge. I revealed to the 10 other girls in my cabin the darkness I had overcome. The darkness I had only shared with one other person in my entire life. Luckily she was sitting beside me, holding my hand.
My chains were broken, and it was at that moment that I really was set free. Even more amazing, was the fact that because I had said, "Okay, God this is for you." He used it to open up girls that I don't think would have. We learned from each other that we all have deep hurts...we're all just pretty good at hiding it. We stayed up until 1 o'clock in the morning. We cried and prayed over almost every girl in the cabin. It was amazing.
The truth will set you free. I've said this before, and people have rebuked me. But I will not be silent. The pain in confession is nothing compared to the love of the Redeemer.
I am amazed that the ugliness that I felt defined me for so long is simply gone. Of course there time that a little part of the ugliness tries to come back. But it is so. much. simpler. to. tell the. enemy. no. now. Seriously.
In my housechurch a few weeks ago we talked about names. We were asked what names the world has given us and what names has the Lord given us. My name, it means "Pure". That right there... it gives me hope that the Lord still has a plan for my life. He knew that I would need that reminder. In Jesus I am pure, whole, and loved.
What are the secrets that you are ashamed of? That you don't want anyone to find out about? Those are the ones that your Abba [Father] wants you to give up to Him. That heavy burden you've been carrying on your shoulders? It shouldn't be there. Cast your cares upon the Lord. Cast your cares like a rod when you fish. If you're still holding onto the lure, then how far do you think your line will go? There is no condemnation in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Thanks for reading, and until next time,
Kaitlynn Marie
2 weekends ago Mar and I had the great pleasure of being Cabin Leaders at the Fall Retreat for our College Ministry. I guess I should back up. Looking back at it now, it was a pleasure. When we found out 2 days before the retreat started that we were going to be leaders, our response was much different. Hahaha... We lead a small group (a.k.a small bible study for women) through the college ministry we attend, and so we were automatically put into the pool of people signed up to be leaders.
240 college-aged students attended Fall Retreat. Each cabin had 10 people, with only a few having 11. Each cabin is paired up with a cabin of the opposite gender to be a group. They then eat dinner together and hang out and just have fun. (I also think it's a ploy to get everyone married..hahaha. Our leadership says that they don't run a dating service, but sometimes..sometimes I'm not sure what they're thinking.)
So yeah. Mar and I find out that we're going to be cabin leaders and we think, "Oh crap. What in the world does that mean and what are we supposed to do." Mar is a middle school leader, and I've taught Sunday school classes...to little kids. Neither of us had any experience with people our own age. We turned it over to God and prayed, "Not for our glory, but for Yours."
:) It's amazing how God always knows what He's doing. You think we'd have figured it out by now...but sometimes we don't.
The Lord spoke to me Saturday night and told me that I was supposed to share my testimony. The whole ugly truth of it that makes it His. So I did...of course I asked every other person in our cabin if they wanted to share...multiple times, but when the lull of conversation came I knew. And then I took the plunge. I revealed to the 10 other girls in my cabin the darkness I had overcome. The darkness I had only shared with one other person in my entire life. Luckily she was sitting beside me, holding my hand.
My chains were broken, and it was at that moment that I really was set free. Even more amazing, was the fact that because I had said, "Okay, God this is for you." He used it to open up girls that I don't think would have. We learned from each other that we all have deep hurts...we're all just pretty good at hiding it. We stayed up until 1 o'clock in the morning. We cried and prayed over almost every girl in the cabin. It was amazing.
The truth will set you free. I've said this before, and people have rebuked me. But I will not be silent. The pain in confession is nothing compared to the love of the Redeemer.
I am amazed that the ugliness that I felt defined me for so long is simply gone. Of course there time that a little part of the ugliness tries to come back. But it is so. much. simpler. to. tell the. enemy. no. now. Seriously.
In my housechurch a few weeks ago we talked about names. We were asked what names the world has given us and what names has the Lord given us. My name, it means "Pure". That right there... it gives me hope that the Lord still has a plan for my life. He knew that I would need that reminder. In Jesus I am pure, whole, and loved.
What are the secrets that you are ashamed of? That you don't want anyone to find out about? Those are the ones that your Abba [Father] wants you to give up to Him. That heavy burden you've been carrying on your shoulders? It shouldn't be there. Cast your cares upon the Lord. Cast your cares like a rod when you fish. If you're still holding onto the lure, then how far do you think your line will go? There is no condemnation in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Thanks for reading, and until next time,
Kaitlynn Marie
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Compassion
My history with Compassion is a long one. I have been a part of sponsoring kids through Compassion since I was in 2nd grade. My church at home sponsored a child that was a year older than me until he was 16 when he left the program.
I then had the pleasure of researching the next two children that my church/youth group would sponsor. A 14 year old girl from Africa, and a 5 year old boy from India.
Sponsoring a child through Compassion is $38 a month. By providing $38 a month, you are giving a child a chance to survive and thrive.
I toured around the country singing and dancing for Jesus with a group called the Young Continentals for 12 weeks in middle school. We were a partner with Compassion. Every night I shared the gospel and asked people to support a child, and yet I wasn't willing to let the Lord work in my life and provide.
I look back at all of the time that I could have spent pouring into a child, supporting a child, and it makes me sad. I always told myself "You're a middle schooler, you don't have money to do that." or "You a freshman in college, you really don't have any money."
I can truly tell you that supporting a child through Compassion has been one of the most eye-opening experiences of my life. Even though I was an advocate for so long, I never imagined how a relationship with a child would affect me personally.
Kenneth has asthma. He lives in Villa Nueva, Nicaragua where most adults earn an equivalent of $68 a month and are unemployed..
The $38 a month I proved is half as much as his mother makes.
A sponsorship allows Compassion to:
- Provide Kenneth with Bible teaching,
- A Bible,
- Medical check-ups (especially necessary b/c of his asthma problem),
- Nutritious food,
- Hygiene education,
- Special celebrations,
- Recreational activities,
- Tutoring,
- School uniforms,
- Shoes,
- and Academic support.
- Also the local staff will provide monthly meetings and evangelistic home visits for Kenneth's mom.
It's not just Kenneth that thrives from my support. My heart has been greatly touched. One of the great things that we can do with our sponsored children is write letters. When was the last time you wrote a letter? Not an email or a memo or even a Christmas card, but a letter. There's something about seeing the words that your child has written in their own language.
Letters between Kenneth and I take about 3 months to process, be shipped, and then actually received. I'd like to share with you the last letter I got from him.
Hello dear sponsor Kaitlynn!
May God bless you. I'm very thankful for writing to you again. I hope that you are in good health and your family, praise God. Now I'm in 3rd grade. I feel very happy because I was congratulated at the project because I'm very intelligent. I had medical check up and I did very well and we're being given foliar extract to avoid anemia. there will be a dental C.I.V from the project. We're going to be taken to a clinic specialized in teeth. Have you taken foliar extract? Are you afraid of going to the dentist? We are taught more about God at the project and about how to protect the animals. The teachers of the project teaches us about the clay from which we were made and that God shapes our lives like clay. Do you know the clay? Has God shaped your life? I close this letter with much affection. I ask you to always pray for me. Here, I'll be praying for you.
Your child,
KennethBy the time I was finished reading this letter through, my eyes were no where near dry. You see, this child has captured my heart. This little 8 year old boy has already gotten to the heart of the issue. Do you know the clay? Has God shaped your life?
Yes. Yes I know the clay! God has indeed shaped my life! It's a never ending process, but yes I'm living it.
If Kenneth can have such faith in his circumstances, shouldn't our faith be so much more abundant? I believe that there are many of us who really can support a child. I'm asking you to step up. I'm asking you to impact the life of a child around the world in ways that we cannot even begin to imagine.
My stopping block before was fear. The reason this post has been sitting in my drafts for over a month was because of fear.
It's simple. It's strange. It's obvious. We. can't. live. our. lives. in. fear. Truly. It's something I've struggled with for a long time. Fear of many different things. Tonight I'm letting the love of the Father drown out all the fear. His love is enough to reach across eternity and provide me with $38 a month. His love is enough.
{Thanks for reading. If you'd be praying for me? Drowning out fear in my life is going to be a multi-step process back to the Father. Handing over the reins again is going to take time. I'll be coming back here to share my thoughts, journey, and whatever the Lord puts on my heart. Is there anything that you need prayer for? What is especially hard in your life right now? Sweet dreams and until next time -Kaitlynn }
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Me and School
The truth is.... I don't like school.
I love learning, I love reading, but for some reason school is so hard for me to do.
My motivation in the morning is generally at zero. Two chapters of the New Testament (currently Luke), two frozen waffles, a cup of coffee, and a shower later I'm still generally wanting to crawl back into bed.
What is it that scares me? What is it that makes me feel like I don't belong? I don't know. I'm just stuck.
Maybe it's because I still don't really knowwhat God wants me to do how I'm supposed to do this. What are my dreams? The things that have been cultivated inside of me and growing since I was a little girl? To be a wife. A mother. A cattle ranching, hay making farmer. I don't want to be in an office five days a week with a week off for Christmas and other holidays. I love the land. I love to work the land. I don't know a lot there is to know about farming and ranching, but who really has all of the answers? I'm willing to learn...and I guess that's why I'm here.
Will you walk with me during this time of searching out answers?
~Kaitlynn
I love learning, I love reading, but for some reason school is so hard for me to do.
My motivation in the morning is generally at zero. Two chapters of the New Testament (currently Luke), two frozen waffles, a cup of coffee, and a shower later I'm still generally wanting to crawl back into bed.
What is it that scares me? What is it that makes me feel like I don't belong? I don't know. I'm just stuck.
Maybe it's because I still don't really know
Will you walk with me during this time of searching out answers?
“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened"
Matthew 7:7&8
~Kaitlynn
Monday, October 3, 2011
PTL
Praise the Lord!
It looks like Mar and I have found a roommate. Not only is this a huge answer to prayer for the finance department, but it's also just plain exciting!
I'm super excited to have a fellow blogger in the apartment as well as a sister in Christ!
This summer was a big fat black hole in my walk. Stagnant, dark waters that I'm glad to be over. The thing is now I have to re-train myself to spend time in the Word, and in prayer. Some of you may remember my goal last January to read the Bible in 90 days? Well...let's just say that I'm in Mark chapter 8..and it's October 3rd. My goal is to read 2 chapters a day.
Fact:
When I get up before dawn, make some coffee, eat some breakfast, read and pray my day goes 100 times better than if I hadn't.
Loading the Bible Experience (click here to listen to a snip) onto my iPod to correlate with what I'm reading that day so I can listen to it while walking around campus, even better.
Here are some links to blogs and random things that I find encouraging!
A Holy Experience - by Ann Voskamp. One. Of. My. Favorites.Period
Resolved2Worship - by Alyssa This is another great one from the heart.
(in)courage - an EXCELLENT resource for all things encouraging, uplifting, and just fantastic for women.
So yeah. These are some of the places that I like to hang out at and just breathe. Breathe in the presence of my Lord and Savior.
Because mercy and grace really are enough,
Kaitlynn
It looks like Mar and I have found a roommate. Not only is this a huge answer to prayer for the finance department, but it's also just plain exciting!
I'm super excited to have a fellow blogger in the apartment as well as a sister in Christ!
This summer was a big fat black hole in my walk. Stagnant, dark waters that I'm glad to be over. The thing is now I have to re-train myself to spend time in the Word, and in prayer. Some of you may remember my goal last January to read the Bible in 90 days? Well...let's just say that I'm in Mark chapter 8..and it's October 3rd. My goal is to read 2 chapters a day.
Fact:
When I get up before dawn, make some coffee, eat some breakfast, read and pray my day goes 100 times better than if I hadn't.
Loading the Bible Experience (click here to listen to a snip) onto my iPod to correlate with what I'm reading that day so I can listen to it while walking around campus, even better.
Here are some links to blogs and random things that I find encouraging!
A Holy Experience - by Ann Voskamp. One. Of. My. Favorites.Period
Resolved2Worship - by Alyssa This is another great one from the heart.
(in)courage - an EXCELLENT resource for all things encouraging, uplifting, and just fantastic for women.
So yeah. These are some of the places that I like to hang out at and just breathe. Breathe in the presence of my Lord and Savior.
Because mercy and grace really are enough,
Kaitlynn
Monday, September 19, 2011
Summertime Update
(This post was originally wrote on the 6th. I decided to keep it and post it late, even though I somehow failed to post it when I wrote it.)
Where has the summer gone? I guess I don't have much to complain about because I've been saying all summer that I'm ready for school to start again. Still, September 6th is a little scary.
Today I'm working in across the border. Of course the day my boss lets me go somewhere else, there's actually fire to fight at home. Oh well. It's good practice for the rookies. :)
The first week of August we hosted my favorite youth group from WA again!!!!!!!! Oh how I absolutely loved seeing them and hanging out!!! They actually run our VBS program for us which is awesome. My mom is our church secretary and I know that she doesn't need the added stress. When the WA group is here, everyone has a blast. We were sad to see them go, but email and texting is very nice.
This weekend was our county fair. Oh my goodness am I tired!!! I could sleep for a week. But work calls, and so I am working today after a VERY full weekend. My mom is the treasurer of the Market Sale Committee here in our small town, and I have had the privilege to help her for the past 3 years. This year we went all out and gave her office a MUCH NEEDED makeover. We started preparing for the fair about a month ago. I can say that without a doubt all of our hard efforts and long days paid off. We had a very good fair with very few issues!
This past Saturday I had the extreme privilege of co-opening for the CMT New Artist of the Year 2011 Awardee THE BAND PERRY!!!! Wow. That's pretty much all I can say. It was awesome, nerve wracking, and almost made me throw up, but overall I'm very glad I did it. No performance is perfect, and this one certainly wasn't, but it was something I am proud of. :) I did it, and that's what really matters.
I also got to babysit my favorite kids this weekend. Last night was a great night of giving Miss B shoulder rides and feeding the horses apples and helping the boys with their roping. Gosh, I love those kids. I had their mother as a teacher in high school, and I've been babysitting them during fair for 4 or 5 years now I think. Which is crazy!
Monday, July 18, 2011
Time Away
Hi :)
I've been absent for a while. There's been a lot going on recently, and I'm scared to say that we're already half way through July. Where has the time gone? I feel like the more appropriate question to ask myself is, "What have I been doing lately?"
The past month seems like a blur in my mind. The days all run together, and honestly, I am tired. Sleep has been elusive at most and interrupted at best. I don't know what it is....... Now that I type this, I could smack myself in the head.
When God is trying to tell me something, I generally become very good at being: elusive, interrupting, stubborn, and sometimes just plain daft. Hahaha. This isn't really a laughing matter, but it makes me smile to see how the Lord works.
You see, when I wake up multiple times at night, it generally means that I need to be on my knees praying. I've been so worried about getting enough sleep lately, that apparently I've forgotten all about that. Living in communion with God.
Summer (and my job in particular) has been a consistently difficult time for me, especially the past 3 years, spiritually. I work for the government with a group of people who for the most part don't believe in any religion at all. In an office where personalities clash, and gossip runs full speed around every corner, I find it extremely difficult to live out my faith. 9 times out of 10 I fail.
I feel distant from the Father.
My head tells me He's here, sitting next to me, holding me in a loving embrace.
My heart and emotions tell me that I've messed up one too many times, and that I don't deserve grace. I don't deserve mercy and forgiveness.
But that's what Jesus died on the cross for. He died in my place. He bore the weight of my sins on Calvary.....All because he loves me.
Me: the girl who judges too quick-talks when she shouldn't-forgets to read her Bible- has never finished a Bible study all the way through - and struggles.
The silver lining to this bleak post is that my sins have been forgiven. I've been washed clean in the blood of the Lamb. I'm not perfect. But sometimes, I think I try to be. Jesus doesn't want perfectionism from us, he just wants us. The real-deal, no fancy makeup or nice clothes. We don't have to speak 5 languages and have a degree from an Ivy-league college in order to worship Hosanna. We are invited to stand before the throne, broken and raw. That's a scary place to be.
What are you struggling with? What has God been trying to point out to you lately that you want to ignore?
- Kaitlynn Marie
I've been absent for a while. There's been a lot going on recently, and I'm scared to say that we're already half way through July. Where has the time gone? I feel like the more appropriate question to ask myself is, "What have I been doing lately?"
The past month seems like a blur in my mind. The days all run together, and honestly, I am tired. Sleep has been elusive at most and interrupted at best. I don't know what it is....... Now that I type this, I could smack myself in the head.
When God is trying to tell me something, I generally become very good at being: elusive, interrupting, stubborn, and sometimes just plain daft. Hahaha. This isn't really a laughing matter, but it makes me smile to see how the Lord works.
You see, when I wake up multiple times at night, it generally means that I need to be on my knees praying. I've been so worried about getting enough sleep lately, that apparently I've forgotten all about that. Living in communion with God.
Summer (and my job in particular) has been a consistently difficult time for me, especially the past 3 years, spiritually. I work for the government with a group of people who for the most part don't believe in any religion at all. In an office where personalities clash, and gossip runs full speed around every corner, I find it extremely difficult to live out my faith. 9 times out of 10 I fail.
I feel distant from the Father.
My head tells me He's here, sitting next to me, holding me in a loving embrace.
My heart and emotions tell me that I've messed up one too many times, and that I don't deserve grace. I don't deserve mercy and forgiveness.
But that's what Jesus died on the cross for. He died in my place. He bore the weight of my sins on Calvary.....All because he loves me.
Me: the girl who judges too quick-talks when she shouldn't-forgets to read her Bible- has never finished a Bible study all the way through - and struggles.
The silver lining to this bleak post is that my sins have been forgiven. I've been washed clean in the blood of the Lamb. I'm not perfect. But sometimes, I think I try to be. Jesus doesn't want perfectionism from us, he just wants us. The real-deal, no fancy makeup or nice clothes. We don't have to speak 5 languages and have a degree from an Ivy-league college in order to worship Hosanna. We are invited to stand before the throne, broken and raw. That's a scary place to be.
What are you struggling with? What has God been trying to point out to you lately that you want to ignore?
- Kaitlynn Marie
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Cutting the apron strings
Today is my 6 month anniversary of being Facebook free!!! Today, my last ties to social media networking are being cut. I was one of the first of my friends to join Facebook, back in my junior year of high school, and today I am going to be one of the first to leave.
People don't understand why I'm walking away from connection to the world.... but that's just it. I don't want to be plugged in. How can I work on being not of this world if my life is so consumed with being connected to the world. I admit that I don't have all the answers. I don't see what choosing this path will do for me in the long run.
But I do know that for me, this path, this choosing to turn off Facebook is me choosing the narrow path. Matthew 7:13 and 14 says this:
“Enter by the narrow gate; for wide is the gate and broad is the way that leads to destruction, and there are many who go in by it. Because narrow is the gate and difficult is the way which leads to life, and there are few who find it."I also really like the way that The Message words verse 14.
The way to life-to God!-is vigorous and requires total attention.Total attention. Every. single. ounce. of my being, of my strength. Total attention is all encompassing. It means that I'm giving everything to my Redeemer. I will let nothing stand in the way of my relationship with Him and with the work that He has given me to complete.
I'm not at the point of 'total attention' yet. But this is one more step of purposefully walking down the road that the Lord has assigned to me. We've all been given different paths to follow, all narrow, and all leading to Jesus. That's what we have to remember. When we come around a bend to find downed trees in the middle of our country lane, it's not wisdom to leave the path and find a way around it. Wisdom is camping down under the stars for a night and thinking about how Jesus made it through our downed trees. He didn't stray from the path in order to find an easier route. We have to stay the path we've been given. Maybe that means we wait until God brings someone else down our country lane in order to help us pull the branches away, or maybe the Creator of Heaven and Earth will leave a chainsaw by our pillow in the middle of the night. He will always provide a way, and provision along with it.
Matthew 6: 25-30 (emphasis added)
“Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature?What can you scale down or eliminate in your life in order to let God have your total attention?
“So why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin; and yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. Now if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?
I'm working on my problem with unjust judgment and simplifying.
This is what the Lord says:
"Stand at the crossroads and look;
Ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is,
and walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls."
~Jeremiah 6:16 (NIV)
-Kaitlynn Marie
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
I Don't Hold the Gavel
In my house-church we've been going through the book of James.
At my college-group, we've been going through Matthew (specifically chapters 6 and 7).
When God has something He wants to show you....He makes it pretty obvious. I have been struggling with judging others. I think the root of it can be found in the judgment I lay on myself for not meeting up to my own standards. I don't know when it all started. I can't pinpoint the moment. It just did.
In Matthew 7 Jesus says,
“Judge not, that you be not judged. For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you. And why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me remove the speck from your eye’; and look, a plank is in your own eye? Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye. (NKJV)
-or-
"Don't pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults-unless, of course, you want the same treatment. That critical spirit has a way of boomeranging. It's easy to see a smudge on your neighbor's face and be oblivious to the ugly sneer on your own. Do you have the nerve to say, 'Let me wash your face for you,' when your own face is distorted by contempt? It's this whole traveling road-show mentality all over again, playing a holier-than-thou part instead of just living your part. Wipe that ugly sneer off your own face, and you might be fit to offer a washcloth to your neighbor. (The Message)
When we think about a judge (courtroom, fancy robes, lawyers & attorneys, security guards,etc.) there are a few attributes we hope that they possess, like impartiality and a sense of justice. In a court of law, any bias or pre-conceived notion is intolerable. I think it's interesting to compare that definition of a judge to my struggle with judging people. I have a hard time giving people the benefit of the doubt, and I generally always have pre-conveived notions. What is the difference between a court of law judge and myself? I have not been created to be the judge of another's life.
In trying to simplify my life and understand who I have been created to be and what I have been created to do, this problem with proclaiming judgment on others [in my heart alone, but still as offensive to the Father as out loud] has waged war on my heart. It's plagued my waking hours and my dreams. How do I stop the judging?
The first step: Asking for your prayer, as well as knowing that my wonderful brothers and sisters here beside me are holding me up.
The second step: Turning it over to God as soon as the creeping thought is caught. James 3 talks about how the tongue cannot be tamed by man. It is a definite, unchangeable fact. There's nothing to interpret. The tongue cannot be tamed by man. This tongue of mine that speaks in my heart cannot be tamed by man either. Jesus, the God-man: fully God and fully man, can control this wild tongue that has done damage to my heart and soul. He can reseal the cracks I've caused and heal the broken pieces.
The third step: Seeking those things that are pure and holy to fill the spaces where the brokenness is cleared out of. Continuing to read and dig deeper into the God-breathed Word that I so often forget about or turn away from to instead fill with blogs or McLeod's Daughters, or Disney movies with friends.
This point in my life is about changing the unhealthy habits, cleaning out the clutter, and finding the things to be thankful for in the process.
Anything that God's been pointing out to you lately that you need to change? Whether you've been acknowledging it or not?
At my college-group, we've been going through Matthew (specifically chapters 6 and 7).
When God has something He wants to show you....He makes it pretty obvious. I have been struggling with judging others. I think the root of it can be found in the judgment I lay on myself for not meeting up to my own standards. I don't know when it all started. I can't pinpoint the moment. It just did.
In Matthew 7 Jesus says,
“Judge not, that you be not judged. For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you. And why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me remove the speck from your eye’; and look, a plank is in your own eye? Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye. (NKJV)
-or-
"Don't pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults-unless, of course, you want the same treatment. That critical spirit has a way of boomeranging. It's easy to see a smudge on your neighbor's face and be oblivious to the ugly sneer on your own. Do you have the nerve to say, 'Let me wash your face for you,' when your own face is distorted by contempt? It's this whole traveling road-show mentality all over again, playing a holier-than-thou part instead of just living your part. Wipe that ugly sneer off your own face, and you might be fit to offer a washcloth to your neighbor. (The Message)
When we think about a judge (courtroom, fancy robes, lawyers & attorneys, security guards,etc.) there are a few attributes we hope that they possess, like impartiality and a sense of justice. In a court of law, any bias or pre-conceived notion is intolerable. I think it's interesting to compare that definition of a judge to my struggle with judging people. I have a hard time giving people the benefit of the doubt, and I generally always have pre-conveived notions. What is the difference between a court of law judge and myself? I have not been created to be the judge of another's life.
In trying to simplify my life and understand who I have been created to be and what I have been created to do, this problem with proclaiming judgment on others [in my heart alone, but still as offensive to the Father as out loud] has waged war on my heart. It's plagued my waking hours and my dreams. How do I stop the judging?
The first step: Asking for your prayer, as well as knowing that my wonderful brothers and sisters here beside me are holding me up.
The second step: Turning it over to God as soon as the creeping thought is caught. James 3 talks about how the tongue cannot be tamed by man. It is a definite, unchangeable fact. There's nothing to interpret. The tongue cannot be tamed by man. This tongue of mine that speaks in my heart cannot be tamed by man either. Jesus, the God-man: fully God and fully man, can control this wild tongue that has done damage to my heart and soul. He can reseal the cracks I've caused and heal the broken pieces.
The third step: Seeking those things that are pure and holy to fill the spaces where the brokenness is cleared out of. Continuing to read and dig deeper into the God-breathed Word that I so often forget about or turn away from to instead fill with blogs or McLeod's Daughters, or Disney movies with friends.
This point in my life is about changing the unhealthy habits, cleaning out the clutter, and finding the things to be thankful for in the process.
Anything that God's been pointing out to you lately that you need to change? Whether you've been acknowledging it or not?
Friday, May 13, 2011
continued...Important Things
1. My relationship with Jesus
1a. Updating my prayer notecard every week
1b. Savoring my quiet time every morning.
1c. Giving thanks
1d. Spend more time in meaningful worship.
2. Sleep
2a. Get 8 or more hours of sleep a night
3. School
3a. Use my planner
3b. Catch up on reading (...I have a lot)
3c. Start studying for finals/midterms...NOW!!
3d. Study for map quizzes/current events before Wednesday night.
3e. Catch up on math homework.
4. Eating Healthy
4a. Plan meals!
4b. Incorporate more fruits and veggies!!
4c. Drink more water!
5. Relationships with roommates/siblings/family/friends
5a. Spend quality time with the people I love, and work on nurturing precious relationships.
Right now, these are the important things... here are some extras though
1. Simplifying the stuff in my life...(In fact, this weekend my bedroom is getting a makeover...as in everything not necessary or deemed unnecessary is either going in the trash or to Goodwill. I am blessed to have the best roommate in the world who has told me in no uncertain terms that she's helping me this weekend. I've been out of control lately....and it shows in the most interesting places)
2. Thinking before I react and before I open my mouth.
This weekend my goal is to catch up on mostly everything on my list. I've been traveling or had company for the last month, so it will be nice to have a weekend with no agenda!!!
Have a blessed Friday!
Kaitlynn Marie :)
1a. Updating my prayer notecard every week
1b. Savoring my quiet time every morning.
1c. Giving thanks
1d. Spend more time in meaningful worship.
2. Sleep
2a. Get 8 or more hours of sleep a night
3. School
3a. Use my planner
3b. Catch up on reading (...I have a lot)
3c. Start studying for finals/midterms...NOW!!
3d. Study for map quizzes/current events before Wednesday night.
3e. Catch up on math homework.
4. Eating Healthy
4a. Plan meals!
4b. Incorporate more fruits and veggies!!
4c. Drink more water!
5. Relationships with roommates/siblings/family/friends
5a. Spend quality time with the people I love, and work on nurturing precious relationships.
Right now, these are the important things... here are some extras though
1. Simplifying the stuff in my life...(In fact, this weekend my bedroom is getting a makeover...as in everything not necessary or deemed unnecessary is either going in the trash or to Goodwill. I am blessed to have the best roommate in the world who has told me in no uncertain terms that she's helping me this weekend. I've been out of control lately....and it shows in the most interesting places)
2. Thinking before I react and before I open my mouth.
This weekend my goal is to catch up on mostly everything on my list. I've been traveling or had company for the last month, so it will be nice to have a weekend with no agenda!!!
Kaitlynn Marie :)
Sunday, May 1, 2011
The Important Things in Life
Some of you know about my departure from Facebook. Today marks the 5 month anniversary of my facebook-free life! Do you want to know the truth? I haven't missed it at all. In fact I think on the first of June I'm going to delete it.
At this stage in my life I'm really trying to filter through everything I choose to put my time and energy into. Facebook was the first to be cut, and it won't be the last. Not only am I moving into the process of filtering the activities I participate in, but also the things that fill up my space (aka bedroom/domain/theplacewhereeverythingmagicallygetslostinablackhole) Do I really need 25 t-shirts? (Okay, that's a rough guess.... but it's somewhere around there) Do I really have a need for 30 pens/pencils, books, notecards, movies, everything.
Where do you draw the line? Or more importantly, where has God already drawn the line? What are the things that I have to choose to give up so that I can be in the place God wants me?
How are the things that I choose to put into my life affecting how I react to life? When something happens, how do I react? How do the things I surround myself effect how I react? I think that these are relevant questions, hard questions, and they're worth digging into.
I heard the song What Do I Know of Holy on the radio this morning on my way to school. It really made me stop and think. What do I know of Holy? All I know is that I'm a small town girl who is still figuring out how to live by faith every. single. day.
Thank about it: What in your life needs to be thrown out, sold, handed-down, or simply sorted through? Is it your closet, your diet, habits, or just your relationship with Jesus that needs to be re-evaluated? Take some time this week to really sit down and think it through, then act. Do something about it.
I went through my closet this week. I donated 10 shirts, a pair of pants, and a pair of shorts that I don't wear very often. Simple, yet it makes such an impact.
At this stage in my life I'm really trying to filter through everything I choose to put my time and energy into. Facebook was the first to be cut, and it won't be the last. Not only am I moving into the process of filtering the activities I participate in, but also the things that fill up my space (aka bedroom/domain/theplacewhereeverythingmagicallygetslostinablackhole) Do I really need 25 t-shirts? (Okay, that's a rough guess.... but it's somewhere around there) Do I really have a need for 30 pens/pencils, books, notecards, movies, everything.
Where do you draw the line? Or more importantly, where has God already drawn the line? What are the things that I have to choose to give up so that I can be in the place God wants me?
How are the things that I choose to put into my life affecting how I react to life? When something happens, how do I react? How do the things I surround myself effect how I react? I think that these are relevant questions, hard questions, and they're worth digging into.
I heard the song What Do I Know of Holy on the radio this morning on my way to school. It really made me stop and think. What do I know of Holy? All I know is that I'm a small town girl who is still figuring out how to live by faith every. single. day.
Thank about it: What in your life needs to be thrown out, sold, handed-down, or simply sorted through? Is it your closet, your diet, habits, or just your relationship with Jesus that needs to be re-evaluated? Take some time this week to really sit down and think it through, then act. Do something about it.
I went through my closet this week. I donated 10 shirts, a pair of pants, and a pair of shorts that I don't wear very often. Simple, yet it makes such an impact.
Friday, April 15, 2011
Girl's Weekend
I'm super excited. In about 4ish hours I will be on the road headed East to the middle of nowhere. :) With two friends, our cowboy boots, and lots of warm clothes.
This weekend is my roomate's family branding. I got to go last year and had a fantastic time!!! Tomorrow morning bright and early we have 200 head of cattle to vaccinate, tag, and castrate if necessary. (It's just the girls going this year...I'm sure we'll be put on vaccination duty again :) We can't get in much trouble there ;) )
I'm excited for a fun-filled weekend of family, friends, ranching, and the beautiful outdoors. It'll be interesting to see how God chooses to work this weekend, and to see what we all have to learn.
Have a wonderful weekend!
This weekend is my roomate's family branding. I got to go last year and had a fantastic time!!! Tomorrow morning bright and early we have 200 head of cattle to vaccinate, tag, and castrate if necessary. (It's just the girls going this year...I'm sure we'll be put on vaccination duty again :) We can't get in much trouble there ;) )
I'm excited for a fun-filled weekend of family, friends, ranching, and the beautiful outdoors. It'll be interesting to see how God chooses to work this weekend, and to see what we all have to learn.
Have a wonderful weekend!
Friday, April 8, 2011
Friday, March 25, 2011
Learning is something that never fades away...
It's spring break. The one week interlude that is a haven for college students around the world. I've been home this week...reading. Reading is what I do. It is part of what defines me. I am a read-er. Some say that it ruins my eyes, others that a book can't change a life. OH, how I disagree.
What is the one single book that has sold the most copies throughout time?
What book, translated into countless languages has stood the test of time?
The BIBLE.
My roommate and I are on a journey. For the past 55 days (and for the next 35) we have been issued a challenge to read through the Bible. In it's entirety. 90 days. 3 months. Can it change a life? I know it already has.
Beginning this week, as I stay in the home of my parents, I am loathe to say that I forgot our challenge. Not a single thought entered my mind of what and Who I should be dedicating my morning, noon, and nights to. And then, a quiet whisper. All came rushing back. This spring break doesn't have to be like the others.. It doesn't have to be like previous Christmas breaks that I felt my heart aching. This one can be different.
And so I'm reading. I've had much to catch up on the past two days, and much to reflect on in my heart. I love the quiet, small things that God uses to shift our world.
Like I said, I'm a reader. I read: books, blogs, instructions, recipes... It's how I think best, with a book in my hand. So along with my catching up on God's Word, I decided to also dive into words that He guided others to write...Fiction.
I'm a reader...specifically I enjoy historical, Biblical fiction. Before I left my small college town for this break, I ventured to the library and borrowed 7 books. Four have been read before, checked out to again discover the journey of those who've walked before us. Within the books, I have found two jewels that in the past I simply passed over. For whatever reason, I never gave them a chance.
The A.D Chronicles by Bodie & Brock Theone
It's amazing how a book can help you to remember the things you always knew. As the old adage goes, "Out of sight, out of mind." My question is 'how can I keep these things daily in my mind?' I think I know the answer.
My daily walk will most assuredly look different than yours. I am a reader you see, and so I must read to remember at times. I must surround myself with those things that are true, honorable, right, pure, lovely, and of good repute. I need to SEE the truths of the prophets, of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. I need to READ today, tomorrow, and forever the commandments that El'Elyon handed down to Moses. I am of the flesh, and I quickly forget. I am like the Israelites who time after time after time forgot the miraculous wonders that El Shaddai did for them... I like them forget that the Lord led us out of Egypt. So how can I remember? Surrounding myself with words is my goal. Words to read. Words to cause me to remember, and to for eternity be able to draw up in my times of need, of sorrow, of wandering in the desert, in times of peace, and in times of stillness.
It's not just about walking through this life, it's about walking with a purpose.
Can I become a child again? Can I travel back to the time when I sat in AWANA every Monday night and faithfully committed His Words to heart? Can I find those Words again, buried underneath the rubble of life? Only tomorrow, and the days following will tell for sure.
And so this path, this life, this walk, continues. Bending and twisting my path may be, but I find comfort in the fact that I do not walk in the darkness. I walk in the Light of the One who came to save the world.
What is the one single book that has sold the most copies throughout time?
What book, translated into countless languages has stood the test of time?
The BIBLE.
My roommate and I are on a journey. For the past 55 days (and for the next 35) we have been issued a challenge to read through the Bible. In it's entirety. 90 days. 3 months. Can it change a life? I know it already has.
Beginning this week, as I stay in the home of my parents, I am loathe to say that I forgot our challenge. Not a single thought entered my mind of what and Who I should be dedicating my morning, noon, and nights to. And then, a quiet whisper. All came rushing back. This spring break doesn't have to be like the others.. It doesn't have to be like previous Christmas breaks that I felt my heart aching. This one can be different.
And so I'm reading. I've had much to catch up on the past two days, and much to reflect on in my heart. I love the quiet, small things that God uses to shift our world.
Like I said, I'm a reader. I read: books, blogs, instructions, recipes... It's how I think best, with a book in my hand. So along with my catching up on God's Word, I decided to also dive into words that He guided others to write...Fiction.
I'm a reader...specifically I enjoy historical, Biblical fiction. Before I left my small college town for this break, I ventured to the library and borrowed 7 books. Four have been read before, checked out to again discover the journey of those who've walked before us. Within the books, I have found two jewels that in the past I simply passed over. For whatever reason, I never gave them a chance.
The A.D Chronicles by Bodie & Brock Theone
It's amazing how a book can help you to remember the things you always knew. As the old adage goes, "Out of sight, out of mind." My question is 'how can I keep these things daily in my mind?' I think I know the answer.
8 Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.9 The things you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.
~Philippians 4:8-9
My daily walk will most assuredly look different than yours. I am a reader you see, and so I must read to remember at times. I must surround myself with those things that are true, honorable, right, pure, lovely, and of good repute. I need to SEE the truths of the prophets, of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. I need to READ today, tomorrow, and forever the commandments that El'Elyon handed down to Moses. I am of the flesh, and I quickly forget. I am like the Israelites who time after time after time forgot the miraculous wonders that El Shaddai did for them... I like them forget that the Lord led us out of Egypt. So how can I remember? Surrounding myself with words is my goal. Words to read. Words to cause me to remember, and to for eternity be able to draw up in my times of need, of sorrow, of wandering in the desert, in times of peace, and in times of stillness.
It's not just about walking through this life, it's about walking with a purpose.
Can I become a child again? Can I travel back to the time when I sat in AWANA every Monday night and faithfully committed His Words to heart? Can I find those Words again, buried underneath the rubble of life? Only tomorrow, and the days following will tell for sure.
And so this path, this life, this walk, continues. Bending and twisting my path may be, but I find comfort in the fact that I do not walk in the darkness. I walk in the Light of the One who came to save the world.
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Joy: In God's Will
Now that I've shared about my change in career paths, I'll share with you what has been going on in the time since then!
In September I changed my major to General Agriculture. I felt that God was leading me there, and everything made sense and fit into place! I can see now part of what God was doing. (I don't dare even think that I know everything God was doing.. remember.. this is GOD we're talking about. Omnipotent, omnipresent.. yeah, you get the picture..) One of the general requirements for Gen Ag is that you take Animal Science 121, which is just Introduction to Animal Science.
I don't think I can comprehend how much I have truly enjoyed this class! The lectures are so full of information, and the lab. Oh the labs! Practical, hands on experience with everything we cover in class! Because of my time spent in 4-H/FFA growing up, as well as just living in a small ranching community, and my time spent devouring books over the course of my life, I can definitely say that I went into ANS121 with a basic, broad knowledge of most of the livestock species we were going to talk about.
Let me tell you that I have enjoyed every. single. lab.
Going into class, I knew that swine was not my favorite subject. My siblings raised pigs in 4-H, and one of my best childhood friends had a pig farm... They're just not my favorite! The pig lab (which just means we went to the pig facility owned by University during lab) took place after God spoke to me about my new path in life. It just amazes me how He orchestrates every single little detail! I drove to lab with a knot in my stomach. I was sure that I wouldn't enjoy it, and that it would be the only lab to date that I didn't like.
The Lord's ways are not the ways of man. To that I say hallelujah! At the beginning of every lab, we spend about 30 minutes with business stuff: taking roll, going over terminology, filling out lab books, identifying tools, etc. It amazed me how much of the information I actually knew, and how many questions I was able to answer. Finally moving into the first facility, (Coincidence that it was the sows that had new litters? Good thing I don't believe in coincidences!) I smiled and watched the little piglets nurse and sleep. When we finally got to the pigs that will be sold as 4-H animals this spring, I was actually having a pretty good time! My TAs like to do 'activities' in every lab. The activity for this lab? Pig herding.. :)
Overall, I want to share with you the absolute joy I felt coming out of the lab! I know that it was a joy that came from the Lord. He opened my eyes to see that all are His creation.
Once again, it amazes me how our Awesome God uses the instances we least expect to bring us closer to Him!
In September I changed my major to General Agriculture. I felt that God was leading me there, and everything made sense and fit into place! I can see now part of what God was doing. (I don't dare even think that I know everything God was doing.. remember.. this is GOD we're talking about. Omnipotent, omnipresent.. yeah, you get the picture..) One of the general requirements for Gen Ag is that you take Animal Science 121, which is just Introduction to Animal Science.
I don't think I can comprehend how much I have truly enjoyed this class! The lectures are so full of information, and the lab. Oh the labs! Practical, hands on experience with everything we cover in class! Because of my time spent in 4-H/FFA growing up, as well as just living in a small ranching community, and my time spent devouring books over the course of my life, I can definitely say that I went into ANS121 with a basic, broad knowledge of most of the livestock species we were going to talk about.
Let me tell you that I have enjoyed every. single. lab.
Going into class, I knew that swine was not my favorite subject. My siblings raised pigs in 4-H, and one of my best childhood friends had a pig farm... They're just not my favorite! The pig lab (which just means we went to the pig facility owned by University during lab) took place after God spoke to me about my new path in life. It just amazes me how He orchestrates every single little detail! I drove to lab with a knot in my stomach. I was sure that I wouldn't enjoy it, and that it would be the only lab to date that I didn't like.
The Lord's ways are not the ways of man. To that I say hallelujah! At the beginning of every lab, we spend about 30 minutes with business stuff: taking roll, going over terminology, filling out lab books, identifying tools, etc. It amazed me how much of the information I actually knew, and how many questions I was able to answer. Finally moving into the first facility, (Coincidence that it was the sows that had new litters? Good thing I don't believe in coincidences!) I smiled and watched the little piglets nurse and sleep. When we finally got to the pigs that will be sold as 4-H animals this spring, I was actually having a pretty good time! My TAs like to do 'activities' in every lab. The activity for this lab? Pig herding.. :)
Overall, I want to share with you the absolute joy I felt coming out of the lab! I know that it was a joy that came from the Lord. He opened my eyes to see that all are His creation.
Once again, it amazes me how our Awesome God uses the instances we least expect to bring us closer to Him!
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Sacrifices
This blog has always been about my walk with the Lord, and so here I am pleased to share with you the latest discovery of the path that He wants me to take.
{He leads me beside the still waters!}
------
I can't believe that it's already week 8 of winter term here in the pacific northwest. Time has flown by so fast! These eight weeks have been good weeks. Through them I have begun to discover a little more about where my life is headed, and I've been growing closer and closer to God.
About four weeks ago, we participated in a week of prayer and fasting at our church. Mar and I attend a Calvary Chapel, and the week of prayer and fasting has been going on for a while now.. although I'm not sure exactly how long! Some people haven't ever heard of fasting ( or they don't think it's possible to not eat for 7 days ), some people think it's just weird, and others (most being "Christians") just don't understand. I don't want to get into all of the reasons and aspects of it, but here is a helpful link if you'd like to pursue learning more about it.
During the week of fasting, God met me in a very special way. It continues to amaze me how our Big God who created the universe with a single command chooses to reveal Himself to us in a sweet, small voice. One of the themes of the week for me was "being broken and poured out". God really wanted to get across to me how it displeases Him that I rely on myself for a lot of things. He showed me how He wanted to be the One filling me up and overflowing me. I've struggled in the past with not feeling like I'm "good enough", but once again the Lord has provided. During one day, in the midst of my quiet time, the Lord spoke to me and told me that I am going to be a veterinarian. W.o.w. It wasn't an audible voice, it wasn't a text message, it was me seeking His face, and He answering through the communication of hearts.
I prayed for about 3 hours that day (I don't think I had class....) and asked God to show me what that was going to look like. I asked Him for open doors, and for people to be raised up around me in support! I cannot count the times since then that the Lord has reestablished a deep knowing in me that this is what He wants me to do! Through speakers at my college group, worship sessions, church, house church, my parents, Mar, advisers... it goes on and on.
For those of you who don't know me very well, I'll lay it down straight for ya. My goal since I knew I was coming to college was to come, get a degree as fast as possible, meet my husband, and then go on my merry way. That was my goal still until 4 weeks ago. The Lord has chosen to make my life about veterinary science...for those of you who don't know.. you have to have a bachelors to get into vet school (4ish years)..and vet school is either a 3 or 4 year program, depending on the school... This is just another point where I am absolutely confident that the this is what the Lord wants me to do. I have never wanted to go into medicine (although I've always loved animals, and being a vet was a dream of mine as a little girl. unfortunately, my sister also wanted to be a vet..so I said I wanted to be a teacher.. haha).
Vet school requires a high GPA, which is something that at the moment, I don't have. I had a term last spring that, well..I'll just say it won't happen again. It won't happen again because now I have a goal, and I have the assurance of a God who will not leave me throughout this process. I know that He who planted the seed will come back to reap it! The next 6 or 7 years of my life are going to be entirely devoted to God and Veterinary work. Every single day for me will be a day of coming to the Lord and asking to be filled up. I know that I cannot do this myself. Just looking at all the classes I have to take, I know that they'll be a struggle. But I know that this whole journey will be accomplished through the work of the Most High God.
For that I am deeply thankful, and eternally humble. He chose me! :) Not qualified, not a 'farm girl' but at heart. Rejoice for the Lord is good. His love endures forever!
Walking out in faith, taking that first step, is always the hardest. But if it's God's will, it will ultimately be the most rewarding! What is God trying to show you or tell you today that you haven't been willing to hear in the past?
Mathew 7:7-
"Ask and it shall be given to you, seek and ye shall find, knock and the door shall be opened unto you."
{He leads me beside the still waters!}
------
I can't believe that it's already week 8 of winter term here in the pacific northwest. Time has flown by so fast! These eight weeks have been good weeks. Through them I have begun to discover a little more about where my life is headed, and I've been growing closer and closer to God.
About four weeks ago, we participated in a week of prayer and fasting at our church. Mar and I attend a Calvary Chapel, and the week of prayer and fasting has been going on for a while now.. although I'm not sure exactly how long! Some people haven't ever heard of fasting ( or they don't think it's possible to not eat for 7 days ), some people think it's just weird, and others (most being "Christians") just don't understand. I don't want to get into all of the reasons and aspects of it, but here is a helpful link if you'd like to pursue learning more about it.
During the week of fasting, God met me in a very special way. It continues to amaze me how our Big God who created the universe with a single command chooses to reveal Himself to us in a sweet, small voice. One of the themes of the week for me was "being broken and poured out". God really wanted to get across to me how it displeases Him that I rely on myself for a lot of things. He showed me how He wanted to be the One filling me up and overflowing me. I've struggled in the past with not feeling like I'm "good enough", but once again the Lord has provided. During one day, in the midst of my quiet time, the Lord spoke to me and told me that I am going to be a veterinarian. W.o.w. It wasn't an audible voice, it wasn't a text message, it was me seeking His face, and He answering through the communication of hearts.
I prayed for about 3 hours that day (I don't think I had class....) and asked God to show me what that was going to look like. I asked Him for open doors, and for people to be raised up around me in support! I cannot count the times since then that the Lord has reestablished a deep knowing in me that this is what He wants me to do! Through speakers at my college group, worship sessions, church, house church, my parents, Mar, advisers... it goes on and on.
For those of you who don't know me very well, I'll lay it down straight for ya. My goal since I knew I was coming to college was to come, get a degree as fast as possible, meet my husband, and then go on my merry way. That was my goal still until 4 weeks ago. The Lord has chosen to make my life about veterinary science...for those of you who don't know.. you have to have a bachelors to get into vet school (4ish years)..and vet school is either a 3 or 4 year program, depending on the school... This is just another point where I am absolutely confident that the this is what the Lord wants me to do. I have never wanted to go into medicine (although I've always loved animals, and being a vet was a dream of mine as a little girl. unfortunately, my sister also wanted to be a vet..so I said I wanted to be a teacher.. haha).
Vet school requires a high GPA, which is something that at the moment, I don't have. I had a term last spring that, well..I'll just say it won't happen again. It won't happen again because now I have a goal, and I have the assurance of a God who will not leave me throughout this process. I know that He who planted the seed will come back to reap it! The next 6 or 7 years of my life are going to be entirely devoted to God and Veterinary work. Every single day for me will be a day of coming to the Lord and asking to be filled up. I know that I cannot do this myself. Just looking at all the classes I have to take, I know that they'll be a struggle. But I know that this whole journey will be accomplished through the work of the Most High God.
For that I am deeply thankful, and eternally humble. He chose me! :) Not qualified, not a 'farm girl' but at heart. Rejoice for the Lord is good. His love endures forever!
Walking out in faith, taking that first step, is always the hardest. But if it's God's will, it will ultimately be the most rewarding! What is God trying to show you or tell you today that you haven't been willing to hear in the past?
Mathew 7:7-
"Ask and it shall be given to you, seek and ye shall find, knock and the door shall be opened unto you."
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Psalm 23
The Lord is my shepherd;
I shall not want.
He makes me to lie down in green pastures;
He leads me beside the still water.
He restores my soul;
He leads me in the paths of righteousness
For His name's sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley
of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil;
for You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;
you anoint my head with oil;
my cup runs over.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
All the days of my life;
And I will dwell in the house of the Lord
Forever.
Three weeks ago, this Psalm became personal. Instead of being an observer, a reader....I was the sheep. For those that don't know, sheep are absolutely dependent upon humans. Of all the domesticated animals, they are the only that are 100% reliant upon their masters for food, shelter, and safety. If left alone in the wild, it would be nearly impossible for them to survive. I am a sheep. I'm a prey animal. I am helpless. I am needy. I have the Loving Master as my shepherd. He gave His life so that I could live. I have nothing to fear. I know that when The Shepherd leads me into the valley of the shadow of death, I have no reason to tremble in fright, for the Lord is with me.
It's amazing how much more insight I have now on this much recited Psalm after working in the Sheep Center here. I'm volunteering during the lambing season, and I see every time I go to work how dependent sheep are on their shepherds. I, Katie, am their shepherd. Why would I let them to suffer or go hungry or become cold? The Lord says the same to us. He doles out our food every morning and evening, and He loves us. He cares for us, and spends time with us. He knows our ways and what our favorite spot to scratch is.
Be of good cheer, for the Lord God is with you.
-Kaitlynn Marie
I shall not want.
He makes me to lie down in green pastures;
He leads me beside the still water.
He restores my soul;
He leads me in the paths of righteousness
For His name's sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley
of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil;
for You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;
you anoint my head with oil;
my cup runs over.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
All the days of my life;
And I will dwell in the house of the Lord
Forever.
Three weeks ago, this Psalm became personal. Instead of being an observer, a reader....I was the sheep. For those that don't know, sheep are absolutely dependent upon humans. Of all the domesticated animals, they are the only that are 100% reliant upon their masters for food, shelter, and safety. If left alone in the wild, it would be nearly impossible for them to survive. I am a sheep. I'm a prey animal. I am helpless. I am needy. I have the Loving Master as my shepherd. He gave His life so that I could live. I have nothing to fear. I know that when The Shepherd leads me into the valley of the shadow of death, I have no reason to tremble in fright, for the Lord is with me.
It's amazing how much more insight I have now on this much recited Psalm after working in the Sheep Center here. I'm volunteering during the lambing season, and I see every time I go to work how dependent sheep are on their shepherds. I, Katie, am their shepherd. Why would I let them to suffer or go hungry or become cold? The Lord says the same to us. He doles out our food every morning and evening, and He loves us. He cares for us, and spends time with us. He knows our ways and what our favorite spot to scratch is.
Be of good cheer, for the Lord God is with you.
-Kaitlynn Marie
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Who Will Love Me?
Continuing with the same theme from my post from last Wednesday, I think I've found some answers to the questions I've been asking.
Question #1
How did I get to the place of work based faith?
Answer:
I've been thinking about this for the past few days, and it wasn't until I read this post (along with the first 2 of the series, found in the second paragraph of the post) this morning that everything became clear. I started to listen to the trap of the enemy because I didn't think that anyone was listening to me. I realize that that seems backwards, but is our rationale ever rational when we go back and look at it?
I needed to be told that I am perfect and grand and wonderful just the way I am.
I couldn't believe in myself because I saw the failure that I truly was. I didn't need anyone telling me that I would do better next time or that indeed I had failed. I'd already told myself that more than enough. What I did need someone to tell me was that I am beautiful, and that a few grades on a piece of paper will not be the ruin of my life. I needed someone to believe that I am great.
What if last June I had realized that someone was already telling me all those things? What if I had stopped and stilled my heart to listen intently to the small, still voice that speaks? I'll never know.
But because I turned away, I saw only the shadow of myself.
SO...what now? Now, I'm currently over halfway through The Essential 100 Challenge at YouVersion. And when I finish, I have another picked out. It doesn't matter to God how much I read each day, but that I read.
Prayer and getting out of the pity-party pit begins with humbling yourself before God and giving thanks.
Starting out my morning by coming to God and simply thanking Him for the day that He's given to let me live is where it all begins. Prayer without ceasing is what we're commanded to do. That seems like a big task. Well, that's because it is. Instead of being immediately overwhelmed (like I used to get), I just start with the things before me.
Question #1
How did I get to the place of work based faith?
Answer:
I've been thinking about this for the past few days, and it wasn't until I read this post (along with the first 2 of the series, found in the second paragraph of the post) this morning that everything became clear. I started to listen to the trap of the enemy because I didn't think that anyone was listening to me. I realize that that seems backwards, but is our rationale ever rational when we go back and look at it?
I needed to be told that I am perfect and grand and wonderful just the way I am.
I couldn't believe in myself because I saw the failure that I truly was. I didn't need anyone telling me that I would do better next time or that indeed I had failed. I'd already told myself that more than enough. What I did need someone to tell me was that I am beautiful, and that a few grades on a piece of paper will not be the ruin of my life. I needed someone to believe that I am great.
What if last June I had realized that someone was already telling me all those things? What if I had stopped and stilled my heart to listen intently to the small, still voice that speaks? I'll never know.
But because I turned away, I saw only the shadow of myself.
The brightness of the Lord was shining behind me, and I chose to instead have my pity-party.
I thought that no one cared enough to assure me that I was still okay.
God wants you to know His radiance. He wants you to bask in His presence. He wants to warm you from the cold of winter with His light.I think that this necklace says it all. Perfectly.
Question #2
Why did I find it so hard to pick up my Bible?
Answer:
I have a confession to make. I don't think that I. Have. Ever. completed a Bible reading plan all the way through. If I have, I don't remember it. Okay, so I've never finished a Bible plan... and? Does that make me a bad person? Does that mean that I've failed a big test in life? No.
The thing that matters is that I did start them, and I did commit to reading the Bible multiple times. Nowhere in the Bible does it talk about how reading through a Bible plan is the only way or the correct way of studying God's Word.
Again, all I could see was my failure. What I couldn't see was all that I really knew. I spent years in the AWANA program at my church, and I have hidden much of God's Word in my heart. I couldn't see past my selfishness to realize that indeed, I do remember the stories of my childhood.
SO...what now? Now, I'm currently over halfway through The Essential 100 Challenge at YouVersion. And when I finish, I have another picked out. It doesn't matter to God how much I read each day, but that I read.
Question #3
Why is it so hard to pray?
Answer:
Because of everything I've already said. It was a struggle for me to pray, because I didn't think that I deserved to be able to. Guess what? I'm not. But God's grace is limitless, and He sacrificed His son, so that He could have a relationship with me, and so that I could have a relationship with Him.
Prayer and getting out of the pity-party pit begins with humbling yourself before God and giving thanks.
Starting out my morning by coming to God and simply thanking Him for the day that He's given to let me live is where it all begins. Prayer without ceasing is what we're commanded to do. That seems like a big task. Well, that's because it is. Instead of being immediately overwhelmed (like I used to get), I just start with the things before me.
Thank you, Jesus for coffee, and for the energy that it gives me to get through early morning classes.
Thank you, Jesus that I have a house to live in and a car to drive.
Being humble and honest and open with my God is the only way that I can make it through the day. As I converse with Him, generally people are brought to mind who I right then and there take the time to pray for. As I'm walking to class, I pray for my school, my classes, and that I would be committed to my school work.
God isn't seeking perfection or an A+ standard from anyone. He's just asking that we share.
p.s.
After writing this post I realized that this song says it all perfectly.
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